Edited 17/02/2021
Would i even be considered?
JoanOfPark
October 11, 2014 01:55
Hello, I am single, in my mid forties and was a foster carer for a short while. It didn't work out and my local authority de-registered me, not for any safeguarding reason but due to mistakes largely made because I got very attached and lost sight of the fact that I was a paid carer and not a mum. It was considered that I was trying to get my own emotional needs met by the young person I cared for, which could have had a detrimental effect if it had been allowed to continue. Will this de-registration count me out straight away do you think? Yes I do have an emotional need, to have a child of my own, which I don't think I realised was the case when I began fostering. Surely as a prospective adopter that would be a good thing and not a concern?
loadsofbubs
October 11, 2014 09:29
thing is the sw's will be looking at you fulfilling the child's emotional needs and not the child fulfilling yours. you will have to think very carefully about your motivation for adoption and what you have done to avoid the problems you encountered in fostering becoz if the same issues still exist then sw's are likely to be very cautious about taking you on to adopt. a lot of children placed for adoption will not be meeting your need to parent them, they may well be extremely rejecting of any kind of comfort, holding, love etc and sw's will want to know how you would handle that. plus the reference from the fostering agency (and they will be asked for one) may well be quite damning as they deregistered you and that is a rare step for them to take. to be honest I think your best bet would be to go and have some counselling about your own issues, about the fostering and the reasons you behaved as you did and try and resolve them if that is possible. that will at least show sw's you have worked through the issues.
Edited 17/02/2021
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