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What you'd wished you'd known at this stage ...
Annie99
January 19, 2014 10:10
Hello ... I am very soon to go to panel (and am very excited) and wondered if i could pick the brains of those that have successfully adopted as single adopters. :) If you could have your time again, is there anything that either you would have liked to have known / or even done at this stage in your journey? And knowing what you know now ....is there any specific preparation you would be doing at this stage ... again ... with the benefit of hindsight ? I am really keen to use this time wisely and not look back and think ...if only I'd known .. I should have..... . . .? Thank you :) x
kstar
January 19, 2014 10:16
Save! Having a child is so expensive! And declutter. I spend half my time tidying and retidying the same places in the house because we just don't have space for all our stuff! More adoption related... Probably wish I had spent more time educating my nearest and dearest about attachment so they didn't all spend their time thinking I am being soft or inconsistent...
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Annie99
January 19, 2014 10:23
Thanks kstar , I think that's a really good point about friends/ family ... They are all very excited for me ..but i definitely think I can do some educating .. Something apart from with my referees I've neglected slightly with the wider circle ...x
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Honeybee5
January 22, 2014 15:48
I am in total agreement with kstar. I should have saved much harder and bought less (although the shopping was so much fun) - I was given so many wonderful gifts when my LO arrived and so many outgrown clothes and toys from friends and family that I could have opened a shop! And I now feel like I spend my life trying to reorganise all our (his!) stuff. Take some time to do things that you enjoy, like going to the cinema, reading a book, visiting a gallery, etc - it may be a long time until you can do them again. Check out all the local child-friendly places. If you are on AL for a while it can be easy to get stuck in a rut. Make sure you know where you can go just to get out of the house. Definitely educate your nearest and dearest about how/why you may parent your child a little differently than they might expect. And get them to agree to help out with washing/cleaning/ironing when your LO arrives! You will be so busy bonding and funnelling that it will be a huge help. Good luck!
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newmum1
January 22, 2014 19:43
Make sure that you don't isolate yourself. My social workers told me I should spend as much time with just me and the LO but I found it very isolating which lead to severe depression. Good luck!
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kstar
January 22, 2014 20:24
I agree. My SW told me she would expect us to spend three weeks on our own but we would literally have gone mad! Luckily I had advice from people on here who had lived it and knew better! In the end my mum met her during intros, followed in week one by my best friend and her family, then introduced someone every few days. Starlet ate it up, she couldn't wait to meet people and needed to know we were not alone! Do what feels right for you :-)
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bovary
January 22, 2014 21:01
Save, save, save! Adoption leave eats money. Declutter definitely - the cupboards I meant to get round to clearing 4 years ago are still not done!
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