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I think the SW was out of order - measuring attachment takes far more than a 30 minute meeting! I also think that a secure attachment is hard for any adopted child and as an adoption SW she should know that - our kids have been with us five years but I'm not sure any of them are securely attached - but things are better than they were... Good luck with the process for number two.

My CAMHS would be furious with a sw making comments like this. They are not trained to make assessments about attachment. If she is worried, suggest you get her to refer you to CAMHS for a proper assessment. But frankly, loads of adopted kids (dare I say most of them) are not going to be securely attached - loads of people in the general population aren't securely attached. It isn't a black and white issue - there is a spectrum and some people can be insecurely attached and still live a productive life. It's a problem when it leads to problems. Your social worker could maybe get you some theraplay too - that's supposed to be good for attachment. But sometimes it's not easy to make behaviours like clinginess disappear - and it's no reflection on you or your parenting or your bond with your child. I have one who is too independent and one who is too clingy - yes, they DO have attachment problems, but they are still doing great in so many ways and we have a good relationship, I think. Don't fret about what she has said - but do use it to leverage more support if you think that would help.

I don't think we need more support, from when we first got LO to where we are now is a miracle...I guess it's always hard to hear comments. Especially when you feel that you can't change them immediately. I feel happier today knowing that LO is happy and secure with us...but to what extent I don't think anyone knows. I think it's very hard to tell if a child is fully attached or not.

In different circumstances, your child's behaviour may have been different. So it's impossible to gauge anything in a 30 minute window. In addition, it seems that obvious explanations for your child's behaviour (children are usually clingy when unwell) were ignored. If you were experiencing regular problems with your child's behaviour, then concepts of attachment theory may be useful in identifying the 'best' way to address those behaviours. If you were concerned about any of your child's behaviours then, as someone else has suggested, you'd seek the advice/thoughts of someone in health care (not a SW). Given that you have no concerns, I'd advise you to roundly ignore her unhelpful input and carry on as you were.