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I've never had to deal with this and hopefully someone who has will come along and recommend a book or two. In the meantime your post reminded me of the Peter Pan films (the 2 Disney ones). Not sure if the fact that Peter never grows up will help but they do show that people have to grow up and move on with their lives in a Disney-ish way.Good luck with it all.

HiIt may not be a fear of growing up so much as a fear of the unknown and change.A professional told me it is anxiety due to changes.They know it is going to happen but fear the unknown and just want things to stay as they are.This can sometimes be an autistic trait too as they often do not like change.It may also be a lack of understanding about how it all happens too. My son had a major panic/meltdown when he found a hair down below at the age of 11. Once I had calmed him down I discovered he was terrified he was going to be a man the next morning, complete with wide shoulders, a hairy chest, deep voice and a beard! That was because they had a sex education lesson that day in school. However he hadn't realised that it would be gradual and not happen overnight. He has asd. He also has a tendency to talk in a baby voice when he needs a bit more nurturing.School may have been saying how they are all going to be grown up next year and how they will be expected to do certain things etc. This would make most children feel important but your LO may be worrying about it all and just like things as they are. You could reassure her that no one will expect her to do things she can't do and that she can always ask for help. Tell her she will always be your baby even when she is a grown up!

Hi Ceci,My AD (who is a bit younger than yours) has always not wanted to grow up and likes to play for hours at being a baby. She gets worried when people say things about growing up or "being a big girl". At least some of this, seems to be related to the fear that when she is grown up she will have to move out and have her own house rather than live here any more.... To the extent that she was asking questions about where the empty houses are near here that she would need to move into when she was grown up Also I think like ADOPTER's son she has no real concept of time and expected to go to bed one night and wake up 'grown up' rather than it being a gradual process and that she would suddenly have to move out and start to fend for herself... We've done lots of talking about children of different ages and what sorts of things they do and still need help with and also tell her that she can live here 'even when she is a big lady' (hope that doesn't come back to haunt me!) and talk about how we will always be her Mummy and Daddy and things we'll do together in the future and that she will always be our special girl etc.(Don't know if any of that could be to do with your daughter's fears but thought I would share in case it was helpful)OSx

This used to be a big thing for my YD, probably mostly at the age that your dd is now.I think she was aware of all the things that grown ups do and thought that she'd just know how to do them.What seemed to help was telling her that there wasn't a certain age that meant that she was grown up. That she would be learning bit by bit, - now that you are 7, you can do x, which you couldn't do when you were 6.Also, we will always be here to help you, like grandma and granddad still help me, even though I'm a grownup.The other thing that was major for her, is knowing that she can live with us forever if she wants (hopefully not!). she still says that she will always stay here.She was also very worried about being given a baby that she wouldn't be able to take care of. This was part of the growing up issue, and led me to have THE CHAT earlier than I would have probably done otherwise. I also told her that you can take medicine to stop you getting pregnant. Giving her the reassurance that she could choose was helpful for her.