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There are not many overseas adopters on here, it's often a long and expensive process. I know a member called Gertiesquidge (?) was planning on adopting from China several years ago but it was at a time when China introduced further restrictions and although all the paperwork was lodged with China she was told she could wait as long as 4-5 years. I think she adopted from an African country instead. Last I heard (a few years ago) not much change from £12-15K.

Thanks Midge, £12-15k isn't as bad as I thought it would had been. I was always led to believe it was way higher than that. I'm going to Adopt over here first and after that in time, I might try to adopt abroad as long as my finances are okay!!!

It depends from which country you adopt. I adopted from EE, there were two visits of a week, one to meet the child and sign the papers the other to pick up the child.

Thanks Pluto, I did read that it's become increasingly complex now on intercountry adoption. It would be better for me nearer the time if it ever came to that to make enquiries regarding fees, procedures etc... How did you find the process of adopting? nessa76

That was easy enough in itself, a lot of paperwork and some fustration about the length of process. It took two months or so in between visits. But from enquiring to picking him up was around a year, so I guess that's fine. Homestudy very similar to uk home study, course, visits sw, matching, visit child, adoption, pick up child. Child is officially adopted before placement, that's different. Than three years yearly sw visits who wrote a report, that's different for every country.

A year isn't too bad considering that I'm sure other countries might take longer to be finalized. I'm concentrating on adopting over here In the UK first, then I might consider intercountry adoption if finances etc... are okay. Glad it went well for you!!! nessa76

Well the real challenges start after adoption! Adopting is the easy bit. My uk adoption also took around a year.

Glad the adoption process was the easy bit, I suppose once the experience and having the support network, everything falls in to place. I know from reading on here that it's not easy living and bringing up an adopted child, so it's obviously harder than the actual process!!! nessa76

Hi Nessa We went through the inter country route originally and got caught up in the everlasting wait when china slowed up so after waiting five years for refferal then ending up doing two home studies for inter country and domestic adoption, I am not sure how much things cost now but it was a considerable amount ten years ago. In the uk you have to do home study and panel the same as uk adoption but you pay for the home study yourselves but must be approved here first then accepted in the chosen country. Some countries have strict criteria they will or wont accept too ie financial status, health bmi ,relationship status,current work etc. There are many fees to factor in with inter country adoption things like inter country courses, home study , notary and translation fees, then fees in country adopting from plus travel fees and money for possible future visits etc etc I dont know if you have a particular country in mind but do a lot of research on which countries are currently running a consistent and transparent inter country programme as it can be a hard process and some countries give you very little information whilst waiting to be matched and very little info on your child. Good luck there are many people who do adopt inter country it can just be harder as you have to drive things yourselves.

Thanks Moo-Chin, some are probably aware that I'm transgender on here. No Eastern Europe Country would allow me to adopt internationally. I am thinking the USA, and regarding cost that's seperate from travel, accommodation fees etc... it's £15-£25k according to Nugentcare!!! I will look in to intercountry adoption nearer the time. 5 years to wait is a long time for the adoption process, longer than domestic adoption. I will look in to it as much as I can over the internet, I guess a lot Don't give a lot of info about the child because most if they knew wouldn't adopt them. I will make sure I go through a reputable agency, ofsted approved definitely. Pluto said as above the last part of placement is permanent once approved, not like here a minimum of 10 weeks. So I will make sure I know everything, and I'm not left in the dark!!! Thanks for giving me an insight in to intercountry adoption. nessa76

Happy to help Nessa , I hope your journey goes well and when u come to adopting from USA you manage to get lots of great advice and info. Intercountry adoption can be hard but incredibly rewarding and I think probably they will know a lot more about the children available if you adopt in the US and will probably be run in a professional way if you pick the right agency. Good luck with your adoption journey!

Thanks, outside of the EE, is my only option. I know that a good Agency in the USA will know a lot about the process, law etc... Good advice is what I need, as I've read on here that a lot of agencies haven't fully explained their child's history etc... I know it'll be a hard process than a domestic adoption, but like you said it's really rewarding!!! At least I'm applying for adoption over here in the UK as well, so it's not a case of why not adopt in my own country as its what I've read from over the internet. Luckily I've almost cleared my debt, so a loan is more likely not to be declined as I know it costs money but it'd surely be worth it nessa76

But if you clear your debt and then take on a large loan you may be no further forward?! The costs of adoption in the US were around £40,000 a decade ago. Since then the US have signed the Haig convention on adoption, meaning that only children for whom families cannot be found in the US can be adopted internationally (quite rightly in my opinion). There are more voluntary relinquishments of babies in the US as many states have restrictive abortion laws (compared with the UK) and less social security support for single mothers: also it is a very Christian country compared with ours which many British people do not really understand. Therefore more mothers will choose adoption over abortion. The birth mother has a major say in where her baby goes and most want a two parent family in good financial circumstances, i.e. she wants her baby to have what she cannot provide, both emotionally and economically. British parents are only likely to be chosen where there are few if any American families coming forward, e.g. in case of ethnic minority with neonatal abstinence syndrome plus dire family background. Even then the two parent family of means will be preferred, typically. Add to all this you have to satisfy your LA adoption panel first and the standards are no less for intercountry adoption: you can see that this is not an easier route but a much, much tougher one. You will not succeed if domestic adoption is too challenging for whatever reason. Financially, you will have to demonstrate a solid employment record over time and enough income to be able to save, plus savings that will cover up to a year's parental leave.

As I've said before, you need to be clear on what you want. You've talked about domestic adoption, international adoption, surrogacy. The last two options will cost financially let alone all the other emotional costs involved. You've said you're not working? How will you get a loan for what will need to be a fairly substantial sum without the means to then pay it off again? How will you support a child whilst paying off a hefty loan?

I did say I might adopt internationally if my finances are right in the future, I am working towards a job in the future so who knows. It's just something that I'm interested in doing, it might happen or it might not.

I agree with Donatella. Surrogacy, in my opinion, involves a gross exploitation of economically or emotionally desperate women which makes ordinary prostitution look like the moral high ground - but that's by the by. (You would definitely get more support for this option on a different forum, as others have pointed out.) You seem desperate to have a child by any means (apart from the straightforward biological means which I presume is an impossibility). I do think you need to query this. I do understand the desperation to have a child. I have several, all adopted. Most are doing very well: one is struggling. Even if my struggling son were my only child, I would still feel grateful to have adopted him because with all the huge pressures he puts me under, I am his mum and that is priceless. But ... we all have to accept the social workers' favourite mantra: adoption is about finding a family for a child. It is NOT about finding a child for a wannabe parent. In other words, it is, it must be primarily about the child, not you.

I agree with Fruitcake. We looked at international adoption, surrogacy and adoption in UK in significant detail, including meetings with international adoption agencies and surrogacy agencies and UK specialist lawyers for adoption/surrogacy. When we had all the facts we chose to proceed with adoption with our local LA. Firstly, to clarify, finances. You will not be approved to adopt internationally unless you have significant income and employment. Getting a loan to cover the costs is not going to be acceptable for an agency. They do accept people who cash in some equity on their home to pay for costs. Costs for US adoption is changeable. You may of read about couples adopting new born babies in USA who live in UK. That would be a private adoption and because one of the adoptive parents holds US passport. Those costs are £60k. Adoption of an older child from care is still very restricted for UK citizens and most agencies are very conservative so have preference for married couples, religious values, home owner, professional employment etc. Those costs would be £30k+. Surrogacy in USA would be £120k. You must note for you to be able to obtain UK passport for any baby via international surrogacy it must share your DNA. So you have to be the egg donor or sperm donor. I really would suggest that you take a step back and go with one option. You need to be in a stable home (ownership or long term rent) with adequate bedrooms. You need a significant support network built over many years. You need an income and be financially stable. You need to pass a medical for both physical and mental well being. You need child care experience. Good luck in your journey but realism is important in adoption. G

Nessa Please be assured that people here are trying to be kind and supportive. We all had our dreams of parenthood so we do understand. However, you were posting about the same questions a year ago and seem to be no further forward. Apart from any other considerations, from a financial perspective, international adoption and surrogacy seem out of your reach. I am a single parent, I started off my adoption journey as a home owner, as a civil servant with an above average salary and probably the best employment terms and conditions you get in England. I now work part time and still earn more than people in minimum wage jobs, on top of that I have a hefty adoption allowance, I get tax credits and my son has DLA. In other words, compared to many adopters and single adopters in particular, I am in a strong financial position. I can give my son a reasonable standard of living, not extravagant, but I don't have any financial worries. However, I cannot save more than a moderate amount of money, by which I mean £60-70 a month. And that is for my son's future. I could not even begin to contemplate how I could finance an international adoption, without damaging my son's lifestyle and financial security. Saving that amount of money would be impossible. If you are not a homeowner, with a house to secure a loan against, I seriously doubt that you would ever qualify for a loan. To be honest, I think it would be a reckless thing to do. If you are set on adoption you would be far better off to focus your efforts on sorting out your life, getting a job, getting settled in a suitable home, making friends and building a support network, instead if using up time and energy on researching things which are probably out of your reach. I really do wish you luck and hope that you can move forward with this, but as others have said, you need to be realistic.

Have you looked at Thailand? It reopened last year so not sure how long the waiting list is now but it was crtainly one of the cheaper intercountry options. If you decide to look at surrogacy Ukraine seems to be a popular choice at the moment and a lot cheaper than the US. The forum on fertility friends has lots of information on surrogacy. For us intercountry adoption was a dream and if the country we had adopted from was still open we would have done it again and money allowing three times even. In comparison to our current UK experience going abroad was a million times easier, faster and no competitive matching plus a lot of wonderful children needing homes. UK is full of discrimination, competitive matching, tick box ideas and a bit of pot luck. The only downside of intercountry adoption for us was the significant cost. However we and our families would find that cost again immediately to go back if that country reopens.