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Hi. My daughter has always done this. We started off assuming it was all attachmenty stuff but it’s not.

She was dx asd at 7 and it’s wrapped up in that. She’s PDA and as such she struggles to understand her place in the hierarchy - adults/child - and she also copied behaviour. So when she sees me passing the time of day with a stranger she’ll assume she can as well. Copying behaviour. If I’m having a conversation with someone she will always butt in - that’s the poor understanding of her place in the hierarchy. She feels entitled to join in any conversation and take over. She struggles to make appropriate conversation in a group so will go off at a tangent and start talking utter rubbish! Something nonsensical which she has to tell me about RIGHT NOW therefore taking me away from the conversation I’d been having with someone else?. It’s still a work in progress at 13.

We use a lot of repetition along the ‘I’m the parent, you’re the child’; I acknowledge her existence ‘I know you’re there but mummy is talking right now’; I make it very clear that she is not allowed to talk to anyone she doesn’t know, even if they have a dog she’s desperate to stroke! But it’s an ongoing thing ... we’ve pretty much cracked the talking to strangers. The butting in and misunderstanding her place in the hierarchy.. not so! And it has led to tricky situations in school particularly where she’ll get that the head teacher is right up there, dinner ladies, TAs etc .. beneath her. It’s hard work!

Thanks Dontella. Your daughter sounds just like our son. He copies our behaviour without any filtering leading to lots of inappropriate behaviours, eg fiddling/touching things he shouldn’t, conversing with everyone, putting his fingers near the dogs teeth as he’s seen me retrieve something from his mouth.

He definitely doesn’t understand hierarchy and often says “I’m number one in this family’. He can be controlling so I’ve assumed it’s that but him not understanding hierarchy makes sense.

He also redirects people’s conversations to something off at a bizarre tangent. Often adults think he’s engaging a cute but sometimes they look bemused!

We’ll try the repetitive reminders when it happens and see how it goes. Thanks for posting.

Agree with Dontella, my ad is also ASD and she does this too. It may be worth going to see your GP and getting a referral for assessment for ASD. the one thing we have found completely invaluable is SaLT - it really has helped my ad and is, in my view, essential for any child with ASD or ASD traits. So also consider this too.

best wishes xx

My AD is / was like this and she has a diagnosed social communication disorder - ie not on the ASD spectrum since DSM 5 but was under DSM 4 - not enough ritualistic and repetitive behaviours they said - but definitely the social communication aspects. It has got her into difficulties as she got older so definitely worth asking the GP for a referral to check. Also the whole business of talking to strangers is a tricky one - as once they appear to know someone / this person has made friends with them (as predatory people do) they tend not to regard them as strangers - I think the level of awareness they need of when something is not right is far more complex - but again a big issues with ASD people and people with learning difficulties in general who are very vulnerable to this sort of targeting and grooming. So I think it is also worth asking PASW to identify some training / therapy to address this aspect