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I wasnt really bothered by 40 (or 30) but then I spent my 40th in a luxury banda on the shores of Lake Malawi, half way through my once in a life time blow your redundancy money on a 6 month trip across AfricaI did make very big life changing decisions around both 30 and 40th birthdays so I suppose there were things on my mind, but I think it was more about changing things I wasnt happy about so I wasnt still doing them in 10 years time which I thought would be a waste 50 seems a much bigger deal to me, I was 48 this year. I put away a lot of clothes last year which I knew I wouldnt wear on adoption leave, I've got them out now and I am looking at them thinking they might not be age appropriate But I think 50 is bothering me because the next big one will be 60 and that is old!On the whole though I'm quite happy being 48. I do seem to be quite well preserved so no-one thinks I am as old as I am and I can get away with things some of my friends can't. I have a friend who is 6 months younger than me, she has let her hair go very grey, hasnt looked after her skin and has dreadful crows feet, and has gone from being quite 'on trend' with clothes to being really mumsy. I guess its all in the mind.Happy Birthday - hope you do something special

Life starts at 40 they say....And yes there is a point that you look at your face in the mirror after waking up and you notice that your face does not pop back into it's original shape at the same speed it ones did.You are old if it does not pop back at all...

I hated being 30 so much I have blotted it from my memory! Seems laughable now, would simply love to be 30 again.40 wasn't so bad - had two parties which I remember well and soon after started on the road to adoption. So it did seem like a time to regroup and really decide where my life was going. The whole adoption process then kind of took my mind off it. Maybe, despite what you say about your life, there's something you would like to do? Doesn't have to be wholly life changing. A friend of mine decided to run a marathon, for example.The thing is there is only one alternative to getting older so you have to make the best of it and not look too far ahead. (I am constantly having to buck myself up about my age - well past 40- so I know it is hard)Get planning!!!

Totally understand Sockthing!!Amused/irritated that I was so bothered, couldn't do the big once-in-a-lifetime celebration I'd always planned on doing...couldn't even celebrate with family/friends, 'just' ms and DH...oh, the fun !!!!I had been dreading it for a while - after 12 years still failed to have a family, friends becoming grand-parents or 'surprise' mums again!!I'd written a 'bucket list' of blithe the possible, maybe, probably and impossible things I ever wanted to do, and another if all the things I HAD done over the years...felt bit better that I had achieved something in my life......that was 8 months ago - but don't mind being 40 and quite relish telling others how I old I am ...my mirror tells me I look lot younger, think their responses show surprise I'm not older !!!!The worse thing now is the one stubborn white nostril hair, a random black hair on inside of my arm & fact I now have to tuck the next band up on questionnaires (the 40-50 one)!!!! Happy days

At 30 with no children I didn't enjoy it. Looking back it was such a huge deal not being a mum. I knew it was big but on reflection it was huge. By 40 I had 1 kid & we were preparing to move forward to adoption Hubby & I were both 40 in the same year. Decided not to have party & go on holiday. Had some winter sun & it was fabulous the only downside was ds2 wasn't with ... He hadn't been born !!! 44 sounds better than 46 etc etc Anyway once you've picked yourself up about your 40th your LO will be 3 or 4 or 5 and you will be thinking were did that time go .....Enjoy

Coming up for me too! I had my 30th birthday party the day before I turned 31 - I dreaded it but it was a fantastic year And now I have my two lovely daughters, so things are even better...Mind you... 40

Only thing to do is to embrace it! At 40 (admittedly a few years before DS came along), I went to New York, Paris and Barcelona on long girlie weekends with female friends reaching the same milestone - it was fab, luxurious and self-indulgent. When I hit 50 in 3 years time, I obviously won't have the same time and money to indulge myself, but I still plan to have some kind of 'experience' to make myself appreciate the milestone.Although I like to think I look and come across as younger than my years, I actually do appreciate the 'sod 'em' attitude that has come with my advancing years - I really don't give 2 hoots what people think of me these days and that is liberating.

I've enjoyed your replies! A nice mixture of sensible perspective and empathy!Pluto - thanks for that!!!! Now I feel a whole lot ....better????? ! Taliesin - YES! you truly get it! But if one black hair on your inner arm is your main beauty worry, I'm glad you can't see me! I am lucky if I get to pluck my eyebrows these days. As for facial hair I think I might give up and join Movember this year, and I'm thinking of swapping my tankini for one of those Olympic swimming costumes that goes down to my knees.Dh and I were chatting today and his theory is that I'm actually p!ssed off about my 30's - they were a truly awful decade and he thinks I am kind of having a late sulk about "where the hell did they go" kind of feeling. I always refer to them as my "wilderness years".would help to have a big luxurious celebration but our gorgeous little boy precludes that - we talked over and over (DH turned 40 this year too) but couldn't think of anything that Kipper would cope with and wouldn't mean us managing high levels of anxiety and big emotions.I've always been a late starter and have often thought I'l grow into myself in my 50's!!

Shadow!

Dear SockthingMost of us who have reached those milestones will associate with your feelings at some stage in their life.For me, 30 - single, not by choice and childless, I felt unproductive (life for me was about family).For me the prospect of 40 was in many ways much better, still single but life was busy with an almost 6 year old. The reality was less calm, 4 weeks into placement with my second child (who came home as a toddler and not a baby like my first) and in significant pain from a yet to be diagnosed broken foot! The following month brought 2 of our birthday parties, my first 2 week school holiday with 2 children and both got chicken pox! Life hasn't been dull as a 40 year old, but I wouldn't change anything - except tripping on that stone in the car park which led to the broken foot!Good luck and remember not to panic about the things that you can't change!WHNM

I remember worrying a lot about coming up for 40. I started to think about adoption. All things are relative. I would love to be 40 now. On my last birthday The Beatles' song 'When I'm 64' suddenly took on special meaning! Lily

Lol...love the Movember imagery!!!! I honestly can't be bothered anymore with all that primping & waxing malarkey...Mr Taliesin may get ideas, God forbid !!!Think you DH has got something there with his theory though....I certainly felt I'd lost and wasted an entire decade in my quest for a family...financially I couldn't do the things I used to enjoy or wanted to do, emotionally I distanced myself from friends, family & situs I used to enjoy...and yeah, did feel resentful of hitting 40 with my bingo wings for company......your DH is right - peed off & resentful!!!So - de-fuzz your way to 40, embrace your inner goddess and thank God your 'only' 40 and not 50 xx

Sockthing's DH is right in my case. It felt I had spent my thirties trying to have a family, trying to get a career off the ground, and I was still back where I started. Lots of backtracking: IVF, divorce, new husband, more IVF, move country, start new degree, no job.But shortly after it started to work out and 5 years later it all fell into place and I can now see how the "wasted" time was an investment in where I am now. Still feels like I am 10 years behind though!Still don't feel like celebrating 50 but I am a lot more at peace with life now.

According to ED (who knows everything ) you're not old until you're 50 And I was researching Age UK for my 86 year old father and found their definition of old age starts at 55

Turning 40 was fine. I was still working, had recently had a positive pregnancy test after 3rd round of ivf and life was pretty good!!That was the most restful time of my 40s.At 42, my first baby arrived and that was followed three weeks later by a house move.By the time I was 47 I had a 5 year old, a 2 year old and a 12 month old!!!Now, in my 50s, life seems to be coming together finally having spent most of my 50s seeing a range of professionals for youngest two. Along with fighting schools, stupid senco and teachers etc. My 50th was spent with dh and three young children having a whale of a time in Florida.

Sorry I did not want that you feel bad! I myself was made in 1968!On a positive note If in a few years time you need some help to remember to put on your knickers there are fantastic places where you can get that help:http://www.detail-online.com/architecture/news/dementia-village-de-hogeweyk-in-weesp-019624.htmlWithout joking I looked at CNN yesterday and they have a documentory this weekend about this place, so I looked it up. A prime example of excellent care. Anyway 40 is the new 20!

'like' Plutos comment I've been known to forget my knickers before now ...and the other afternoon I thought, "bagger, my feet are sore today"....looked down and had put my shoes on the wrong feet....thing is, I'd walked about 3 miles like that, had looked at them whilst sat on the loo, rubbed them at my desk.....and STILL hadnt noticed until someone said they looked strange!!!!!

Taliesin there is a long waiting list for this place, it might be wise to register now before you forget to get dressed at all. Otherwhise you might end up here:http://im.ft-static.com/content/images/e71ee958-403d-4ecd-8265-c9605a6051a1.img

I'm the same age in October! EEK! I never had an 18th, 21st or a 30th party but I swore blind I wouldn't have a fortieth as I would feel oooold lol.. However I changed my mind the closer it came and decided to provisionally book myself a party. Now we've our little one moving in at the beginning of August so I'm not sure it its such a good idea. Hubby wanted to take me away too but things have changed.