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As in all siblings have sen? I guess it depends on how many siblings, how severe and what the future was looking like ! Can you enlarge on your question at all confidentiality permitting.

Mine didn't when I adopted them but two now do have SEN. How hard/painful it'll be will depend on so many factors. What their additional needs are, how they can be met, what local schools are like, whether they already have ehcps.

Oh i have just seen your other post I have 2 children with v complex needs ( tube feeding , wheelchairs etc) . One long term fc other adopted. I find it v rewarding and wouldnt do anything else but it does have to be your whole life if the children have significant needs . You need to factor in lots of appointments , liasing with professionals etc and possibly moving or adapting your home. Almost certainly they will remain dependant on you a lot longer (though this tends to be typical of a lot of adopted kids anyway.) You may not be able to work outside the home again etc Obviously that is the extreme end of special needs and it may not be as full on with less severe needs? I think with sen kids you do have challenges but they are not always the same type of challenges you get with other children if you see what i mean .

Parenting children with additional needs is incredibly hard. I have a bd with epilepsy and an ad with suspected ASD. For a start there's a lot of appts which make it difficult to work. My bd sees 2 different consultants and has had numerous investigations. Also need time off when she has a seizure. AD has appts with consultant, nurse, portage, social services and salt. In addition has regular taf meetings. I feel like I constantly have to ask for time off! AD is very challenging to parent. She has multiple sensory issues, is very sensitive to routine changes and her behaviour can be difficult to manage. Sleep has been a huge issue. Holidays, trips and special occasions have to be planned carefully and not been brave enough to take her abroad yet!! Also my husband and I never go out. Difficult to get anyone who's confident to care for them other then family who already help us with childcare for work. Having said all this I love my children dearly and we are happy. I would say go for it but don't expect it to be easy x x

Do you know why? Is there anything underlying? It can be easier getting help and support in school with a clinical diagnosis eg autism. It's understood and there's a clearer pathway. If it's possible fas/fasd then in my experience it's much harder to get support. It's just not that well understood. Any older siblings to compare? Any genetic stuff? In utero? It's not going to be just about the SEN aspect - but the child as a whole.

Global delay + speech problems = often asd!

Meeting the children's social worker on Tuesday...what questions do I need to be asking? xxx

What post adop support will be available ? Respite ? Ha ha i know ! But worth asking as you may need it in the future. Is there any financial help ? You may not be able to return to work outside the home so would there be an adoption allowance if that is the case. What are long term outlooks looking like (as far as anyone can tell which is a best guess scenario). If you have definite diagnosis for them you will have a better idea. Also is your support network robust enough? Just a few thoughts off the top of my head !

I expect I'm posting too late but Wizzywoo is spot on- financial support, make sure you get everything set up in the option order and how robust is your support network. However robust you think it is expect it to decrease by 75% sadly and it won't be the people you think. Let us know how you get on.

Hi, Went well - they would come with a means tested AA and would each likely get the higher rate for mobility when they get old enough (eldest is 4).

Hmm. So in effect you've been guaranteed nothing? Means tested AA could mean a little or they'll just pull it. High rate mobility? What about care? DLA is not a given - the form is a nightmare (Two of mine get high rate care, low mobility) and no guarantee of that either. I'd push for non means tested AA - it's a way for them to wriggle out of giving you anything imo.

I agree with Donatella - push for a guaranteed, non means tested, meaningful AA We get DLA - middle rate care/low mobility - it's about £80 a week. It soon goes ! Just paying for sensory integration therapy for example is £70 per week xx

Hi, How do you push for a non means tested AA without it sounding like you're in it for the money money money?!

I wouldn't worry too much what they think tbh. Raising two children with additional needs is hard going. I have three children, two of whom have autism, amongst other things. All were easy to place babies so no AA here. I've not been able to return to work so you'd need to factor that in - how would you manage financially on one wage? If they don't come with EHCPs then you're likely to be in for a lengthy battle to get them. You'll have appointments galore - I don't know what their additional needs are but here two are statemented- a minimum six month process, DLA which is a nightmare, one is in special school (in fact all three are in different schools and have been for over 5 years). Now we're having to self fund private EP, private slt and private OT assessments in order to get our daughter the right secondary school. LEA and I are in dispute. Not forgetting the solicitor fees. What are their identified needs? If they're talking high rate mobility then that's pretty difficult to get.

Totally agree, I have a BS with autism and and AS with needs as long as your arm. I haven't been able to go back to work. We are having to self fund a boarding school for my BS as he can't cope with the emotional outburts of my AS. Both boys have sooo many appointments and meetings about them/that I have to take them to (although BS's have lessened dramatically now he's 15). Financially it has crippled us as a family. £1000's worth of debt. DLA and carers allowance go no where to meet it. Having said all that, I wouldn't change my family or boys for the world but it takes its toll financially, emotionally and socially. Go in prepared and with open eyes. You can argue that means testing now will mean nothing if you can't work in the future etc...Sorry if I sound negative, I'm not really but I do feel that if you want to do this then you have to get yourself set up.

No it's fine - I just wasn't aware it was something you could barter in that way. How much should we be asking for? My husband is on a fairly good income (approx 40k) and mine is currently approx 25k.

We don't get AA as AS was placed at 18 months and we had no idea of difficulties, so others would be better placed to answer that. But I'd really look at how your lifestyle would alter without the 25K. Best of luck.

I think you need to state that it has to be non means tested. That's key. You have a decent joint income atm. How would your standard of living drop if you weren't able to return to work? Suddenly you're £25k down. Bills, mortgage, additional gas, electricity, water bills. Food, entertainment (cinema costs a fortune), clothes, shoes! Assume no return to work or at the very most, part time. Where would that leave you?

We also don't know what will happen in the future with DLA with a likely 'nother term with Tory government... so you're right I think we do need some financial protection there.