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Hi JoandAlex!

Exciting!! It really depends on many factors. Everyone's experience is different but in our case, less than 24 hours in the best case (the birth mother and I were sharing the exact same 3 cultures) and 9 days in the worst case. The worst case is when the social worker does nothing: in that case Linkmaker automatically "opens a conversation", meaning, it gives you access to the SW's name, contact details allowing you or your social worker to contact them directly.

Best of luck with this match ;)

buafro

Thank you so much! I haven't heard anything yet and trying to remain hopeful. We only went to approval panel last week. I think I need to adjust my expectations about how long this part of the process will take. Why should I be the one who finds a match within a month when others have been waiting so long? I'm glad to be a part of this forum though and reading about others experiences. :)

Well, managing your expectations is always good, as well as not reading too much into rejection when it happens.

As to you potentially being matched instantly when others might have been waiting for years? This is how I see things: to each his experience and any match with a positive outcome is a good thing.

Unless we were all looking for exactly the same match and were all exactly the same prospective adopter, there could be no unfairness in you being matched instantly, don't you think? Some of us are looking for a match in a subset of profiles on the platform (which is our case), these profiles occur less often so it takes time. Also, some prospective adopters are able to be more "flexible" than others which might allow them to be matched quicker. Finally your profile might highlight something very special that makes you a perfect match. An all "left handed" family, ginger hair, being a truck driver, a Husky, who knows...

Finally, on a more selfish note, please bear in mind that some of us might feed on your energy so feel free to bounce around and sprinkle it around anytime. I did read your post on a very bad day and it gave me the smile back.

See you around JoandAlex

Hi JoandAlex,

It is exciting when you put in that first expression of interest. For me, it felt like the first proper step to meeting my future child even though I’d been through months of assessment.

I’ve been on Linkmaker a little while now and I’ve had to learnt to balance between being hopeful/excited and managing my expectations.

I’ve had a few expressions of interest declined after a couple of days while some have remained unanswered so Linkmaker has opened discussions but still no response to any messages weeks after. Initially I was disappointed and took things personally but with time, I’ve learnt not to.

I also decided to work in 6 month chunks - so I told myself not to expect too much in the first 6 months, to do all I could do put myself forward and then reassess after 6 months. For me, it released me from the pressure of feeling like I had to find the right match immediately and at the same time I was open for a match to happen within that time.

Things are still moving along slowly, but I’ve got a few months before the 6 month review

As buafro said, keep posting and we can encourage one another

Best of luck JoandAlex.

That’s a good idea Runner_Paisley I might adopt that approach

Thank you so much for your messages! It means a lot. We didn't hear anything back so far and it seems the child has been removed from Linkmaker which is not a good sign.

I've now 'completed' link maker and have put a couple of expressions of interest in, but certainly won't get my hopes up as much as I did before!

Fingers crossed x

My wife and I have been approved for 12 months and are currently on prospective match number 45! Don't expect miracles, don't get too excited. We have been as far as the last stage before a matching panel on two occasions and lost both matches through no fault of our own. COVID has had a massive impact on progressing adoptions, particularly as we live off mainland UK which has caused issues with visits. We have learnt to do lots of things virtually. Our case is a bit unusual, and we know others who were approved after us and have already had a child placed. The key is to be rational about the process, and recognise that the child isn't yours until the matching panel is completed. Good luck