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Irritable/Shouty Mummy :( :( :(

minnie7 July 15, 2013 22:46
Feeling like worst Mummy!!! Have been shouty and irritable with LO over past few days. Feel ashamed to even post here - he is such a happy fun little boy. Think after a bout of illness, very hectic two weeks and LO not settling to bed easily, I have got a bit "all done in". But I just feel sooo bad for being shouty and irritable. All the stuff about brain wiring starts to haunt me - as in I worry +++ about the effect of me being like this. Got nice day out planned tomorrow. So hopefully lots of fun for LO and a bit of adult conversation for Mummy.
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7 July 15, 2013 22:47
Ummm, the sad faces I put in title make me look like a very very very cross Mummy. In fact, they look somewhat scary!!! OOPS!!!
Edited 17/02/2021
Lolapola July 16, 2013 16:32
Hi Minnie 7, Have just seen your post and really felt for you. I'm still at the early stages of the adoption process, but just wanted to send you some encouragement. (I work all day with children, and I know how tough it can get). Well done for posting about the low bits - never feel ashamed to post, this is the place to be honest! Everyone gets grumpy and shouty - that's human nature, the fact that you've spotted it means it's much easier to change. I agree with Puppypower's suggestion, apologise and talk to LO about it (no matter how young he is), you may be surprised how much better you feel and how willing he is to accept your apology!A perfect, sunny relationship 100% of the time with anyone just isn't reality and teaching children how to acknowledge when things are tough and how to move on and restore relationships is really important. I hope you've had a lovely day today. Now kick back, get him tucked up in bed (ok it maybe an hour or so yet!) treat yourself to a little something nice and push on tomorrow! Best wishes, Lolapola
Edited 17/02/2021
Littlemisscheerful July 16, 2013 16:52
I know what you mean about worrying about the brain wiring, but I do think there is a lot to be said for the repairing afterwards. I think it is ok for them to know that we get cross, say sorry, I love you, and reconnect.Mine are older, but I talk a lot about transference, and explain I am more intolerant when I am tired. And I tell them if I'm feeling grumpy, so if you muck me about, I have less patience today. (I think we shouldn't under estimate the effect of this heat.)
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Serrakunda July 16, 2013 19:04
At times I shout way too much. I always make sure we kiss and make up before bedtime, lots of cuddles and have a talk about why I shouted, I try very hard not to say its because you did/didnt do X or drove me to distration with hours of repitive chanting but its hard sometimesdont beat yourself up - you arent alone. Hope you enjoyed your day out
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bovary July 16, 2013 19:13
I shout when I am tired, when I am stressed, when I have PMT - and course when Ds is being a little so and so!It's natural, don't beat yourself up over it. In a way, I think it helps DS to know that, just as he struggles sometimes to control his feelings, so do I. I try to model for him taking responsibility for it, apologising and trying to identify what has led to me feeling like that.
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7 July 21, 2013 21:55
Thank you all for your replies. I am still a bit stressed but have been a less shouty/irritable Mummy. Although I still need to work on it!!!A relaxing weekend with a friend helping out (e.g. making dinner!!!) has made a big difference.And, it helps such a lot to hear from people on here.Minnie x
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Willow637 July 25, 2013 21:09
Minnie,That has been me todayI will try harder tomorrow............
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piglethh July 25, 2013 21:24
I feel like it's been me for the past few weeks. It's getting me down today.
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minnie7 July 25, 2013 21:58
Willow and piglethh,It is sooo hard isn't it sometimes? I am sending over cyber hugs, good coffee (is that a cappuccino or latte???) and cake!!! As others have said to me, don't give yourselves a hard time. As a friend once said to me ... parenting is the hardest thing ever but as she also said, mixed in with that it is also the most rewarding.And here's to us all have a better day tomorrow.Minnie x
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Willow637 July 25, 2013 22:34
bless you it helps that others understand'though I admit that I have swapped coffee for red wine tonight . Will raise a glass to us all x
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piglethh July 25, 2013 22:39
I also have gone the red wine route. I think I had too many expectations that me being off work, and my AD being off school would mean life suddenly got easier.More realistic tomorrow. Sleep well everyone.
Edited 17/02/2021

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