Archived Forums

Meant to say we now looking forward to meeting BM soon too.

don't expect too much or continued contact - if it happens fine, but it's best not to rely on it as a certainty as it can feel like a second rejection for LO if they expect it and it doesn't come.hope meeting with BM goes well

LO will know nothing of it for many many years! He too little and not relevant at all I agree.

I found meeting BM and two siblings to be hard but really worth it. You get a chance to ask questions and get a better feel of BM and the reasons that your children are in care. It also makes LB easier as you are not writing to a faceless person, but someone you have actually met. Do remember to have a photo taken with her if she is willing. We forgot to do this and I so wish I had done it. Saves problems when you get the "you stole me from my mum" if they can see a photo of you all together, and hopefully smiling.My only words of advice to anyone is to not share letters/cards with your LO until you are sure BM is going to maintain contact. A lot of adopters have found that after the first year, the letters/cards tail off as the BM moves on with her life, and if you have shared too much, your LO can feel rejected when the letters dry up. Best to just keep whatever comes for them until they are older and able to participate in the LB if they so wish. I see you have already thought this through and think you are wise.I think LB can be a benificial way of getting to know the BF and if and when your children want to meet them when they are older, at least you have some idea of what has been happening in their lives and have gotten to know them a bit.

Thank you so muck JMK, really wise words thank you. Picture good idea, will ensure we get one to show LO when he is older!