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rosesarered March 9, 2020 14:16

Hi, Could you please share any useful tips or hints on accessing post adoption support - financial and/or therapeutic. We are currently struggling with our 10 year old twins, but every time I get in touch with the local authority, I feel we get fobbed off and nothing much happens. Things at home may then calm down a bit and we decide that we are probably OK trying to cope on our own. Until the next really tricky phase kicks in...

I have paid for a couple of sessions with an adoption psychologist privately, but whilst she is very good, she is also very expensive. But I feel like if I try to get anything via the LA, things will have changed many times over before anything comes to fruition.

I had a meeting with a SW at the start of the year due to my son's very angry outbursts (physical violence, breaking things etc). I happened to mention also my frustration with his school where many parents are very focussed on getting their kids into the local grammar schools. We are not considering this for our son, but in his close friendship group all the other boys are being tutored. I think this makes him feel a bit separate, and it's not doing any favours to his already low self-esteem. Having told this to the SW, he basically told me that the whole behavioural issue is something I need to take up with the school, and pretty much washed his hands off me. Told me to get in touch if I still needed help.

So understandably I'm not massively keen to try this route again, but equally, not sure how much we can afford privately. If anyone has any useful tips on how to ask for things, and perhaps even what to ask for specifically, I'd love to hear from you.

Edited 17/02/2021

onlineteamAUK March 9, 2020 16:23

Hi rosesarered,

Please contact our Helpline team and one of our skilled advisors will be happy to discuss your situation and answer your questions in more detail. You can email them on [email protected] or call them on 0300 666 0006 available Monday to Thursday 10.00am - 2.30pm and Friday 10.00am - 12.30pm (excluding bank holidays) . More information here

In the meantime, until the Helpline re-opens tomorrow morning you will hopefully get some further advice and support from the Forum's knowledgeable users.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes
Andrew
Online Team AUK

Edited 17/02/2021

Best wishes, Online Team AUK

E-mog March 9, 2020 20:04

If you formally request a wish to be assessed post adoption support it is my understanding they are duty bound to carry out a needs assessment. When we requested support there were a number of forms to be filled in and meetings with the post adoption social worker, the process was long and laborious (isn't it always!) but we got there in the end They did fund some therapy for my daughter who was displaying some worrying behaviour, a lot of which was to do with school but was also massively affecting home life. It wasn't a magic wand by any stretch of the imagination and having asked what the next steps will be I have been told we have to go back to the beginning of the process if we want further support and apply again, such a wonderful system!

Edited 17/02/2021

chestnuttree March 9, 2020 21:07

PMed you

Edited 17/02/2021

Safia March 9, 2020 21:50

I agree with the info re lengthy assessment but just wanted to add it’s helpful if you do some research first about ASF can fund and what sort of support you would like / need - also check any availability locally through nhs or other services so you have an argument about why you are applying

Edited 17/02/2021

windfalls March 10, 2020 10:59

Hi rosesarered,

have you had your twins assessed for any other conditions? Do you have an EHCP? Have you applied for DLA? If you have not done any of these then please consider doing so. Being assessed may uncover underlying conditions - eg dyslexia can have the same behavioural symptoms as adhd. an ehcp will provide extra help and support for the children at school which may help with behavioural problems and DLA may help towards the cost of therapy.

best wishes xx

Edited 17/02/2021

Redlasoo April 17, 2020 14:34

Good luck. The biggest lie we were ever told was that post adoption support existed..

We adopted 2 older children with a significant and extremely unpleasant history. We haven't received any support in years and years despite desperate attempts to get it. Fobbed off endlessly and given the run around by people who are completely incompetent.

Edited 17/02/2021

windfalls April 19, 2020 17:35

So sorry to hear that redlasso, although it doesn't surprise me - social services do tend to "run for the hills" when things are tough and they may be expected to put their hands in their pockets. Have you considered having a chat with your local MP? - they may take more note if your MP was involved.

the only other thing i can suggest is applying for DLA and also EHCP's - if you have not already thought of these (you probably have).

wish i could be of more help.

best wishesxx

Edited 17/02/2021

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