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Feeling Disappointed

Becky-Boo April 27, 2021 14:58

I have had a phone call today saying that I cannot move to stage one as my mobility isn’t good enough. I use a walking stick when out of the house and lead a full life. My mobility is not a major issue for me and I spoke to my doctor before I began the application process, who were very supportive of my plan to adopt.

i was very upfront about my mobility with my social worker in our initial chat on the phone but when I told her I felt her whole attitude towards me change. It felt like I was instantly written off, but she thought she better come to my house and see how I walked around. I showed her around my home without use of a stick as I use it more outdoors. But I really felt she’d made up her mind before she even arrived for the visit. That was all she talked about and she was very negative about me.

I received a telephone call from the social worker today saying she wasn’t putting me forward onto stage one (I’d guessed that much already) but if I had physio then I could think about reapplying in a few years when I could walk better !!!

I’m beyond shocked by her attitude and I actually feel quite offended. My doctor does not feel I need physio. I think it would have been easier if my dr who knew me had highlighted an issue in my medical. I know LA’s and VA’s say they welcome applications from adopters with disabilities but it just sounds like an empty attempt to be seen as inclusive.

sorry to vent but I’m angry, hurt and offended.

Serrakunda27 April 28, 2021 07:53

vent away, some SWs are just plain daft

this is not the only agency, I’d try somewhere else

good luck

ournames April 28, 2021 17:49

I had exactly the same experience. It’s totally inappropriate for a social worker to make a medical judgement when that really isn’t their job. And it’s so shocking and upsetting. I thought that everyone in the social worker role would be pretty open-minded. This was not in any way correct.

I went through two agencies who wouldn’t let us onto stage 1. Thankfully we found a third agency who were absolutely wonderful! So as the previous poster says, try some other agencies if you can. The one you’ve tried doesn’t deserve you.

Adopting when you’re disabled is always going to be a battle, and yes they have to test your ‘resilience’. But look for people who are going to test you and support you.

Safia April 28, 2021 18:07

Definitely worth trying different agencies - but also think through scenarios where it might be a problem and how you would cope - eg child running into the road. Instead of physio maybe try and get some practical experience with children in so you’ve got that to refer to. Remember your strengths and the positives you have to offer and to emphasise these so you don’t come across as apologetic - good luck - you will get there I’m sure.


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