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Oh Goodness, Libertas, we've just had pretty much the same experience, except not as good. My AS wanted to stand for House Captain in his tiny school, but in the end he didn't even do the hustings. Partly because I forgot to remind him to work on his speech, but, bless him, he said it was his responsibility and it didn't matter, because he knew there was no point as it would be the 'popular' boys that got it - and he was right. I could have cried for him, and writing this now, I still could. Well done to your girl. I am feeling proud for her. xx

Congratulations to your daughter! A great experience for her -both making the speech and coping with not winning. As a teacher I would expect the votes to be counted and kept to. However I do sympathise with your resentment of the alpha type! My dd1, when aged 11 and in year 6, loved to act. She wasn't given big parts because she wasn't reliable and probably fidgeted too much during rehearsals. At christomas she did a show - small part of course - with two performances. In one she missed a cue as a teacher sent her on an errand. I was furious and rang to complain to the head ( also mentioned the fact that the class golden girl had by far the biggest part and already had tons of opportunities to perform as she went to an out if school theatre group). Head promised dd would have a part in the end of year assembly. Come the time she had a tiny role. DH complained and she was also given the closing prayer. Dd acted her socks off even during her non speaking bits and several other parents commented afterwards on what a good actress she was.

That's brilliant! I know many adults that wouldn't stand up and talk in front of others, it takes an awful lot of bravery, particularly at that age, you must be very proud! I remember at about age 6 I was given the main singing role in a small performance in front of the school (I knew I wasn't the best singer, but I was so proud. I knew exactly what I was going to wear (a white RaRa skirt). Then at last minute, my song was pulled as a little 'star dancer' (with a pushy mum) was going to put on a show instead. I was 6 and I still remember the disappointment.

well done Big Girl!

That is brilliant Libertas! I haven't heard the phrase 'alpha children' but I knew immediately what you meant. And Haven, just reading about your AS I thought how lovely and gracious he was and perceptive. Our oldest 2 BCs still remember their painful experiences at school with the favourites being chosen for everything (it comes up every so often in conversation) and as a Mum I found it painful too. They are in their 20s now!

Ahh, Haven, I feel your pain: it’s so horrible that our children get so overlooked. I must admit that I cringed (inwardly, obviously: I have THE best adoption poker face) when Big Girl told me about the elections and I’ve been on tenterhooks all day. I hate that our default position is failure and disappointment.

I really understand this too. AS (now 9, Y5) says every year that he is going to try to get on to the school council. He really tries every single time - works on his manifesto, practices it and has to stand up in front of the two classes in his year to deliver it. Every year someone else is elected. His disappointment is palpable and no amount of reassurance from us really counters it. But a tiny, fluffy cloud of hope has floated in to his life (he doesn't know yet but will be told today) - he has been chosen as a Peer Supporter which means that he has been selected to help younger children in the school to have a positive experience and to guide them when they need it. So, he has been chosen as a positive role model to the little ones. Yay!

So lovely when they get recognition. DS (10) got on school council in Yr 4, but struggled with taking other's ideas. He preferred the less up front part of the role and by end of the year kept forgetting to go as football in playground was more appealing. However now in year 6, he is enjoying his role helping Reception children at dinner time and the best part was he got this role without having to do the written application.

Hi Peahen & Bluemetro It sounds like you have wonderfully caring boys for them both to be chosen to mentor children younger than themselves. Peahen, I love your “fluffy cloud of hope imagery” - I’m going to hold onto that and use it with my Big Girl who has an Eyeore-ish tendency to doom and gloom. I think we could all do with our fair share of fluffy clouds of hope!

My boy is very kind and caring which is delightful to see. You'll never guess what came home from school yesterday ... yes, the blasted manifesto request to be voted on to the school council. So, yet again, he will try very hard. He has some good ideas but whether they will be enough is so hard to know. He is going to suggest that we set up a cycle to school club where parents will guide-ride small groups when their own parents aren't able to do so. It is ambitious but I think that it is a really good, community spirited idea (they do this for the Ride London event and it is a real blessing for those who are less able or less confident). This combined with cycling proficiency sessions after school. So, we wait and see what will happen. Glad you liked my fluffy clouds!

That is a really good idea re the cycle scheme - I notice a lot of employers are offering bike scheme membership as part of their package now - I think the school will support that too

Scouters and Guiders out there, may I ask a question? AS is a Cub and is working toward his Random Acts of Kindness badge. It is a great idea, in my opinion, in helping children see ways in which they can be kind or just make other people feel good in a somewhat anonymous way. My question is this: If AS were to suggest a similar idea for school then would he be ripping off a propitiatory (copy-write type) idea? If they had Kindness Day or something like that then would that be a problem? I can't see that it would be but just wanted to ask for opinions from those in the know . Any thoughts or ideas? Thanks Safia! I hope that the school will be supportive. We seem to be very cycle-centric in our area and a number of the teachers cycle to school so that is a positive;; but relatively few children seem to - don't have an explanation as to why. AS and DH cycle pretty much everywhere so it is something that is genuinely close to AS's heart.

I can’t see how it would be copy write issue as RAK go on everywhere as does pay it forward. I hope he gets his idea accepted at school as it is a wonderful idea.

"Random acts of kindness" So they get a badge just for doing their " good turn" !!!!! Baden Powell would turn in his grave at the thought !!! ( for those not in the know, scouts , etc have always , since very early on in the history of the movement, been encouraged to do " a good turn every day". The general idea of helping others ( without reward) when they needed a hand, is in the Scouting for boys book and the fact that a scout helped an American visitor to London and refused a reward is credited by him as being the start of Scouting in the USA)

Sorry, ignore my rant, well done to all the kids above who do brave things.

Pingu, perhaps I could explain a little bit about how Random Acts of Kindness work, just as far as I understand it. Scout / Guide / Brownie / Beaver etc. leaders may have a more informed take on this but here's what I think that it is all about. And this isn't a Scouting thing specifically but something that anyone can do. It isn't about doing a recognised good turn such as digging someone's garden or carrying someone's shopping for them (that would be a specific act of kindness). It seems to be more focused on the "random" bit and the "kindness" bit - spotting where anyone (young or old) could make someone else feel better or, perhaps, lift their spirits by doing something a little bit unexpected and definitely showing that they care about other people. Ever had someone that you didn't know say something along the lines of "great haircut - it really suits you" and then they move on; and you feel better? Recognising that we can all be a bit nicer to each other without getting specific praise for it and that our society would probably benefit from it. So, last week we left messages around our local area which said things like "I hope that you have a nice day" - not a specific good deed but just a message to be found by a stranger that might make the stranger feel good (no stranger danger, though, as these are left to be found later). Another idea that we will probably take up is sending letters from AS to older relatives just to say "hello" and that he is thinking of them. It might sound a bit corny but anything that helps engender kindness and thought about others has to be a good thing, no? Funnily enough when I first read about it from Akela my reaction was "but AS is pretty much always kind" so how do we define what is genuinely "random". And then I sort of had a penny drops moment when I understood what they were getting at. As an aside, one of the suggestions (from a long list of suggested things that could be done) was to drop pennies in the street for people to find - See a penny pick it up ...

i think there's a bit of an overlap Peahen, but I was only joking, I think its great whatever you call it, and delighted its being encouraged, badge or no badge. Good luck with the pennies though - my sons leave them lying around the floor of their room and say it is not worth gathering them as they are worth so little (seems to apply to anything less than 50p in his book as I found a 20p the other day next to his bed. Obviously he gets too much pocket money !!

Hey. I just sewed on DS's latest badges from Cub camp and one appears to be for cooking marshmallows - at least that is what he told me that it was for. So, awareness of kindness or skill in marshmallow cooking? Tough call! Sorry for the sermon - you are probably right that there is an overlap (and it is one that I still need to get my head around) but I would vote for young people understanding their fellow man and being kind over a lot of other things, personally. Money on the bedroom floor is not the same as money found - "lucky money" makes both my children feel that they have a talisman for the day - it is nonsense but it makes them feel good and feeling good leads to good things, in my experience. 20p is either one very, very lucky day or 20 lucky sort of days in our world. Gotta get your kicks where you can, as they say!

I'm totally with you that I'd reather encourage kindness than the ability to cook mashmallows ! I don't think cubs got a badge for mashmallow cooking in the very old days either, they had much harder challenges for badgework than nowadays, having looked at the old handbooks !! As for the coins as2 doesn't regard them as lucky, he is just not interested in doing anything with them - I have given him a bank bag and suggested he collect them for charity but nothing has happened. I have said that if that's the case, and he hasn't tidied up when I have warned him I am coming to vacuum his room, then any money on the floor is the cleaners reward !! (better in my purse or a passing charity box than in the dyson !! Achievment at school hard here as he hates to be first or go up on stage so sometimes self sabotages so as to be "average"