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If you do meet mr right during the process and move in together then I assume that he will have to be assessed jointly with you.At the very least - if he doesn't move in - then it's likely that he'd be crb checked. Either you're a couple or single!

There would never be any mention of any man living with me. I am not dating anyone and have no plans to, but wanted to check. So if it were serious of course they would be checkedThank you

Ive been single for 3 years and intend to stay that way, but you never know what the future holds

Well a critical question is would Mr Right share your wish to adopt?If not then its not going to work is it? Interesting topic of conversation for a first date as for SWs they tend not to look very favourably on this. In simple terms, if you adopting as a single adopter then you need to be single, otherwise you would need to be assessed as a couple. In which case your assessement would stop, you would have to wait a couple of years until you can demonstrate that you have a stable relationship, that you have dealt with the issue of birth children and both want to adopt. SWs want to know that you are committed to a child, not distracted by a newish partner, in the same way as I understand that some couples are given stern lectures on contraception to ensure they don't get pregnant.Being practical about it, would you have the time, energy etc etc for a new relationship when you are going through the adoption process or when a child is newly placed. To be honest the thought of having to think about someone else, even now a year in, doesnt fill me with gleeThere are a very few people here who have adopted as a singly with a partner in the background but from what I remember they were very exceptional circumstances.

Thank you for the response, I would not have the intention to meet anyone and after being single for 3 years I have come to the conclusion that i want a child not a man. But wanted to through the thought out there.I will defo being a single and if I were to meet anyone my intentions about my future would be clear. But if i adopt and in 10 years I met someone - would that matter? I am looking at every aspect of my life. I cannot have children so never can have birth children

In 10 years time it'll be no-one's business but your own. Who knows what the future holds? You cannot plan for every eventuality. As you're not planning on meeting someone I'd just park the idea for now. Who knows in 10 years time I might be divorced! Similarly no-one's business.

Thank you that all makes sense

The way I viewed it was that if "Mr Right" came along during assessment/matching/placement, then by virtue of being "mr Right", he would:Be prepared to wait as long as we needed - at least until adoption order, but realistically longer;Be prepared to learn about modern day adoption in all its glory;Be prepared to co-parent a troubled child - that would probably resent having to share me to start;Be understanding that he is last in the pecking order, that this is a life long commitment and the child's needs won't go away but will always come first;Accept it might be a very long time before I can leave the house without the child!It's a big big ask and thus not something I expect to have to deal with any time soon! (And as previously stated, what single adopter has the time and energy?!)But to answer your question, the expectation is that you are committed to the process and to your future child. If you're dating for the fun of it - they may be interested in if you plan to continue that with a child placed (and indeed how!), if you're dating with more serious intentions - well that raises questions on whether or not now is really the time to be thinking about adoption. If you just happen to meet someone while going through the process... the right guy should wait! There's a book "Dear Mummy, Welcome" by Bethany Hallett about a single adopter that happened to meet a guy during the process. Interesting read!

Thank you, i have no intention of meeting anyone but just wanted to ask the question. Totally agree it would take someone who understood me and the child and what we wanted. Ive been married in the past and the relationship isnt all it cracked up to be.

I don't know who wrote it but there is a book called "Dear mummy, welcome" It covers this quite well. And it might answer some questions on how to deal with it.

Going through the adoption process is emotionally demanding, therefore emotional availability to start up a romance is usually limited. My personal stand is that I gave Mr Right enough chances to show up before embarking on my adoption journey, so now he can wait, I'm busy starting up a family. There's another man in my life at the moment... though a very little one! I still think it might happen one day but, at present and through the first years of placement, I could only see added complications if I was to start a relationship. If you were to start a relationship during the course of your assessment, it's likely that the assessment would stop until the relationship had either got strong or dissolved. You couldn't adopt jointly with your new partner until you'd have lived together for at least a couple of years.

My ex of 2 years hinted at getting back together during my assessment period. I told him I was planning on adopting and also planning on staying single. Funnily enough he's not contacted me again!I was so busy and consumed by the assessment I probably wouldn't have noticed if Mr Right had knocked on my door.I was asked during home study what would happen if I met somebody, honest answer unless they accept its child first then bye bye.

Thanks ladies, my thoughts exactly but I need some clarification, I too have waited too long for Mr Right and its time to put me first x

And on a cheerful note (not!)....four and a half years in and I still can't see how a relationship would fit into my life. Maybe by the 10 year mark!Chooky

15 years in chookynoo and no sight!!

I was approved as a single adopter. I had no intention of starting a relationship. My new son had been living with me for just two months when, totally unexpectedly, a close friend became closer! We started dating - very low key and we only saw each other when the kids (I have another AS) weren't around. I told my social worker and she said that she knew me well enough to know that I'd always put the kids first and that she wasn't worried but she said that the placing authority might have serious concerns. My new boyfriend was already part of my support network so my sw advised me to tell the placing authority that I was having him police checked because I was seeing more of him (!)Had I been in the process of being approved or already approved with no child placed then it would have been a different story. I doubt that many (if any) agencies would assess you as a single adopter if you had just started a relationship with someone. And you won't be able to demonstrate that you are in a stable relationship if you've only just started seeing each other. Realistically you need to think about putting relationships on hold until after your adoption has legally gone through.

Thank you all for your comments, I just wanted to think another senerio through like many others and now I am firm in my answers. All this helps me to be clear what i want, how i get it and able to now show a SW I am ready