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Caramel_guinea_pig November 16, 2021 19:07

We have 2 gorgeous children who are also birth siblings, and we are currently considering having a third child. I'm interested to know if there's anyone who adopted their eldest child/ren and then went onto have birth children after. It seems potentially very confusing/difficult for our existing children (and possibly for a potential birth child) but I'm sure there are ways to manage this. I feel like our children would really take to having a younger sibling, but we just don't know if we are being selfish to even think about this. Any experiences would be useful to hear about, as well as book recommendations etc. Thanks 😊

Donatella November 17, 2021 10:58

I do know people who have had birth children after adopting and in the main it’s been tricky. How old are your children? Are their needs clear yet?

Safia November 17, 2021 12:15

I do not know anyone personally but know there were a few people on the old boards and it was discussed a number of times - effects on adoptees and birth children as well as parents. If you search the archives you should find some discussions and different experiences

CatLady1 November 17, 2021 16:24

I know of one couple who adopted two siblings then a few years later had a birth child. Unfortunately things did not go well and the adopted children both returned to LA care, but the children were very badly affected by trauma and did have quite complex needs.

Caramel_guinea_pig November 19, 2021 14:26

Thanks everyone for your replies. Safia, the tip about looking in the archives was really helpful, thank you. Some really good tips there about how to introduce a pregnancy for existing children.

Donatella, I'm not sure if our children are old enough to know their needs yet, I feel like they are but I recognise this could be naive of me.

Thanks all

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