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New here...Telling people ...

mattio78 January 14, 2010 18:07
Hi...Am loving the snow! Anyway, myself and partner have decided to go ahead with adoption, after a year of oohing and aahing over it. I have read and read many articles, message boards and so on, so im getting stocked up with info and help!The one help i do need is how to tell family that we are doing this??I know with my family i will get the, you cant look after a dog let alone a child. Dont be silly,you cant do that`It wont last 5 minutes etc etc.... Has anybody else had this, and how did you react etc????Thnx
Edited 17/02/2021
MrAnon January 14, 2010 18:29
Hi & welcome.I did not tell family and friends until I was very sure I wanted to adopt and that the process had started. In essence this was after the prep. course and when I was accepted by my agency but before I was appointed a key worker. I had a few dissenters but was able to fend off adverse comments by stating how much prep I had been through. Generally speaking I was supported fully by all I told. Hope this helps.
Edited 17/02/2021
mattio78 January 14, 2010 19:46
Why im stressing i have no idea, as its our choice not anybody else!I did actually think not to mention anything at all until later on.My friends have been fantastic, and alot have already said that if i need references they are more than happy! (Good job i know nurses and other professionals!)xx
Edited 17/02/2021
happyeater January 14, 2010 22:27
Hi MattioYou're right, it is your choice... but it's still important to have the support of family - and particularly your parents. Not just for your own sake, but to be able to show you have good support when being assessed. Gay people who's parents don't support their adoption plans sometimes have a harder time in the process.Didn't mean that to sound pessimistic! I think common with many others, my parents were surprised at first, but were soon completely behind us. I know some people who's parents were opposed to their child's adoption plans right up to the point meeting their new grandchild, are were then head over heels about it.If you're worried that your parents might be dismissive, perhaps wait a bit longer until you've actually started the process.Good luck!HE
Edited 17/02/2021
Podgy Pink Pig January 15, 2010 21:01
Hi Mattio,I think most prospective adopters worry about how to tell relatives regardless of their lifestyle.Be prepared for some people initially seeming unenthsiastic. Try not to be disappointed when this happens, they are more than likely just adjusting to the idea.Like others, we waited until we were a bit further down the adoption road before telling people. Some were surprised, some were very encouraging and some said things that annoyed us. One classic comment was 'They'll need feeding you know!'With some relatives, it was best to hit them with it, leg it, then speak to them later once they had absorbed the news. This strategy worked a treat, actually.Saying that, everyone is now fully supportive of the idea that we will one day become dads. We really appreciate our relatives' support and always have done. There are one or two relatives whom we still have not told and will not until there has been an official match. This is because we feel they would just be constantly wanting updates and would worry about us.Anyway, whatever anyone says on these boards, you know your family best so go with your instincts. Good luck with it all!All the best,PPP and Small Pig
Edited 17/02/2021

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