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sent pml

There is one in my area which is hugely sucessful. I joined when my DD's were newly placed and made some very good friends through it who we are still friendly with today, 10 years later. I also think it is really important for adopted kids to have some friends who are also adopted.If you ring Auk you can ask them if there are any in your area and they will give you the co-ordinators no. From memory, I do think you have to be a member, but it is worth every penny to spend time with others who do understand our children and are not so judgemental.

Sorry just had a thought, if there isn't one in your area, you could always start one yourself as I'm sure there are others out there who would love to meet up.

Thanks JMK.I will contact adoption uk and hope there is one in my area!You have been very helpful and it is good to know that auk do run some. Fingers crossed they are in my area!X

Sent you a pm mrsp x

I got all excited reading this and rang up AUK to ask about groups in our county. Little boy is not quite a toddler yet but it would be nice to chat to people that I didn't have to explain everything to, and also see what might be just ahead for us (or maybe that would scare us!).But there's nothing in our county (which is a VERY VERY large county, and we have 2 huge cities within an hour as well, nothing in the nearer one, I didn't bother asking about the further one). The person on the phone said there's a volunteer being trained in X city which, erm, is 90-odd miles away. I'm not about to drive our little boy 2 hours to go to a toddler group.Now I know the best answer is "so start one yourself" - but as I'm planning to go back to work, I wouldn't even be able to commit to going to one after I do that, let alone running one, and if it takes training (rather than just, say, find a soft play and tell everyone you're meeting there) then the role isn't likely to start immediately I wouldn't think.Ah well, back to the drawing board.

We also have nothing auk related in our county which is one of the reasons I didn't renew our membership. When we first adopted 5yrs ago there was one auk co-ordinator and I offered to apply to train to become a co-ordinator but was turned down as you had be 1 or 2 yrs post adoption order(can't remember which).The irony of it was, which I pointed out at the time, was I had the time to do it then but now 5yrs post adoption I don't however if they had 'got me' in the early days I would have stuck with it and incorporated it into my life but now there is no chance.It is a shame really as the co-ordinator left about 6 months later so as I say we have nothing.

What a shame the spouses :-(I have emailed 'membership' and am awaiting a response. Fingers crossed!There is such a need for these groups :-(. XPS. Toddlerhood is never dull 'the spouses'!

It's a shame these boards are public as we can't reveal areas :-(It only takes two mum's to be a toddler group imo!Sorry to hear that emogX

Well if you have to be 2 years post adoption order then I'm out anyway!

There is not one in our area but there is a fantastic network of adopters and so we all get together regularly for coffee, organise days out etc.. I have met most people from Adoption UK support groups and developed friendships from there.

"One or two years post adoption" - That's madness. Most of us are lucky to adopt a child of 3 or under, so if you had to wait 1-2 years before you were allowed to set up a toddler group then your children would be at school!!!!Are you sure these are the rules?, because when my friend started up our one, her children had only ben with her about 6 months.Perhaps if Auk offered a service where you could contact them and give your user name and the area you live in and your agreement that they would pass your names on to those members who live in the same area as you.This could be done privately, behind the scenes so to speak,(ie not on the boards)and then they could pm you the user names of those in your area with children of a similar age. Then you could pm each other privately and arrange to meet up at a soft play place and make your own arrangements to do this maybe once a month. Friendships can be formed from doing this and then you can make your own private arrangements to meet more often with the people you think you have something in common with.It seems such a shame that so many of you are out there looking to meet up with someone locally in the same situation, but because of security issues no one wants to post their area on here. Surely someone at Auk could do this, afterall we all know how hard parenting our children is and they are supposed to help us support each other. It's not really rocket science is it.

One thing I do know about is an annual, national meet up for adopters from the country that little boy comes from, it's quite a distance from us I believe but we are going to make an effort to go hopefully. But those aren't going to be friends he sees very often.Having read this though I will definitely ask our SW if she knows about LA groups, or who to ask - even foster carers if they'd let us go to those (especially as we are thinking about concurrency for the future).

In fact if Auk won't do it, I could do it for you if you like (even though I won't be joining any of you as my DD's are 11 & 12!), but I do know the importance of finding other friends with kids of the same age to support you and share ideas. Ordinary toddler groups are not the same as adoption ones.

To clarify the one or two years post adoption order was to be trained to become a co-ordinator not specifically to start-up a toddler group

Aaah that makes more sense emog, I'm sure anyone can organise a get together it's just that we don't know who's in our area from the boards. Could be someone in the next street and you'd never know.

Jmk, I am happy to pm you with my area details etc ... hopefully other people will too?!It would be great if you could help put people in the same area and with kids of the same age together :-)Thank you Very much for your help ...X

Amben if peple pm me giving their area I'll just keep a list of user names and the location and then I can pm the people in the same area and you can pm each other and share who is in the same area and arrange your own meet ups.I'm quite happy to do this if anyone wants to contact me.One thing though, I'm Irish, so if you can also give me the county you are in it would help so I don't have to keep checking the map Also if you are on the edge of a county, maybe give me the next county too, as you might be closer to people in that area.Anything to help you all get together.

Amben have added you to the list - First one!