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nefeI have sent a PM. We are a faith based family and our Christian faith has held fast when everything else has fallen away at times.Isaiah 65: 24 comes to mind particularly for you.Adoption Today magazine had a great article last april on the church and adoption and I have a copy if anyone would like one.I think you can view it online if you are a member (?).There are a lot of very cheesy (IMO) American sites about open/ reliquished adoption which really you have to cherry pick through what you find helpful. There are a lot of families on here that are Christian/ faith based families. Dimples

Hi WE are a christian based family and my faith has kept me going through very tough times.I am very much in belief of just let it be; what is will be....Hope faith and charity i have found key aspects of my life.Good luck and be at peace..

nefe I have sent you a pmTjx

i found the wait really hard - i think it's the feeling of not being in control is my problem. i knew that we would end up with the right child at the right time - I trusted God implicintly that this would come to be but it was flipping hard.Hang in there! Will keep praying for you

well we got a NOJust don't know how to put calm over us whilst we are so upset. Does anyone have any scriptures that may be of comfort??Nefex

Jeremiah 29 v11 - "I alone know my purpose for you, says the Lord: prosperity and not misfortune, and a longline of children after you. If you invoke me and pray to me I will listen to you: when you seek me, you shall find me; if you search with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord." New English Bible Version - the usual version says " I know the plans I have for you - a future and a hope" but this version is interesting and was the only Bible that was to hand!

"For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8v28God loves you and loves the child that you hoped to be matched with. He is in control even though it may be difficult to believe this at the moment."He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."He will give you the strength to go on.Hilly7

The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down his friend can help him up. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10You have many friends thinking of you and praying for youDeefa

Nefe, i have no scriptures for you, but i want to share with you my beliefs.I have had 6 pregnancies and not one chld to show for it, one went full term and died just after birth, we then went onto do IVF and all failed, which seemed odd as i was able to get pregnant naturally but not substain it for some reason.After doing a lot of soul searching i decided that it was gods will that i found another way of having children and adoption was that way...He has got us through panel and hopefully found us a child to adopt, we still may have to cope with more disappointment if we arn't matched with this child, but i know that god will lead us to the right child, that we are mean't to raise and cherish...I hope this helpsDory xox

Oh Nefe, I was waiting to hear how yesterday went - I am sooo sorry - Life can be so hard and disappointment so crushing, but as for scripture... 'He is close to the brokenhearted'and He comforts those who mourn... and turns their mourning in dancing'I too had Jer 33 in mind - He has plans to proper and not harm you'

Hi Guy's, sorry to butt in here, I too am a Practicing Christian and wondered what your overall feel was from yuor SW when yu told them that you were Christian? I can not and will not deny my God and my faith and God will honour us all in our patience and perseverence though I do worry that my faith would go against our application. Do any of you have any thoughts that you could share? we are not approved as yet, we are only just embarking on the home visits / assesments in Feb so I am anxious about how it will all be handled. Just a quick flash of inspiration to you though, God is faithful and through our pain and perseverance HE WILL PROVIDE. Be strong everyone. please get back to me if you can. Much Love xxx

Just to reply to babyblueeyesIt will depend very much on your sw, some Christians have had very negative experiences from sws, particularly in the past with left wing councils, whereas our sw saw it as a positive support network.Hope it goes welll

it is a long time ago for me now but our SW who took us to approval was a Christian, and so understood roughly where we were coming from.Some places might think as a faith family you might be into religious hot housing etc so be prepared to explain how you live by grace and not the stick....questions I was asked included-1) What if your child does not share your values and beleifs?2) What if they dont want to go to church?3) If your child turned out to be homosexual how would you react/ what would you do?4) How would your Christian support network react to your child and support you?SO, have a think on these!there were others Im sure I have just forgotten.I am now 8yrs in to placement and an awful lot has changed in my life and it has been full of ups and downs, but the only certain and constant thing has been my personal faith. Hold onto that.All the best

We just had our session on this and were asked the first three questions Pear Tree put; we said we would allow them to make their own decision - I decided I wanted to be a Christian when I was about 11, having been brought up completely outside the church. We were actually prepared for saying "we would try not to make them go to church" but the SW said "well, of course they have to GO to church" though I think meaning while they are very small, and I added "they can always scream the place down but no-one minds at our church".We also discussed our acceptance of their sexuality and it was the next question in the list but she didn't really link it as she kind of already knew our views - we said we'd hope our child was happy in their relationships and I also talked about teaching children to accept other people's families as I am a Guider and we had a girl with two mums; we had to handle it carefully so as not to have any other girls in the group say inappropriate things about the girl's family, they are her mums and she loves them. It's about protecting your child, including protecting them from people who aren't willing to accept them as they are. She asked if our families would be accepting of a child who was gay and although MIL who is very very elderly (and therefore unlikely to actually know a child old enough to have a defined sexuality - she'd be in her 100s by that stage) would probalby not understand, we talked about my parents who have become more liberal as they have got older and my mum's relationship with her gay cousin.We are just about to have a session on diversity and there is some possibility we might be matched with a child with some of a different ethnicity in their background; we were chatting about this last night and are thinking that if that is the case, a different church in the area might suit us better as more international families go to that congregation. Churches are a pretty good way for children to get to know children who aren't at their school, from diverse backgrounds, so this is I hope a positive thing.

Hi babyblueeyes,We just want to encourage you and all the readers. We were approved in Oct ’09 and still waiting for little ones, but trusting the Lord for the one’s he set aside for us. Regarding your points made, as Pear Tree mentioned the 4 questions did all come up and we openly and honestly shared them – similar responses to ’thespouses’, and yes their focus is on protecting the child. However we both felt that our Christian faith will not be hid under a basket and we even gave our testimonies during our SW interviews which were also documented – so the whole panel got to read it as well. We placed God first in the WHOLE process, and spoke of Him regularly as if He was part of our family or network - whatever happened. Apparently our panel approval shocked all the ‘professionals’ including our SW as it’s never happened so quickly & easily in their experience. We were in there together with SW for about 10 minutes only, and not a single question about our faith!As you rightly point out, honour God and he will level your paths. After all it’s about Him, not us. Rom 8:28, what a promise to cling onto in these times.Love & blessings.

Hi all,I just wanted to say thanks for all the info on this page here. I too am a practising Christian and am contemplating adoption after my husband and I were told we would not be able to conceive naturally. Having spoken to LA about it and giving our details, they asked if we practised any religion. When I replied Christian she seemed ok about it . Having seen the questions that others have been asked is really helpful too. I don't know whether we will be going down the adoption route yet...not knowing what Gods plans are is really tough but we're trusting in Him who knows all things :D xx

we too had questions about accepting different lifestyles and when kids might not want to go to church with you. we had a teenage son at the time who was going through a phase of not wanting to go so we could talk about real life. we didnt force him, asked him to come. some weeks he came others he didnt. now he's a youth leader in our church!our church was seen as a great support network - we have adoptive families/foster families/ social workers there

Hi Nefe. Eph 3-our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine....it's so hard to keep believing that when there's so much heart ache, isn't it? But in a really hard place recently I felt the Lord assure me that the story is not over yet. That's such a great thing to hold onto. That even in our pain, there is tomorrow, and tomorrow brings new hope. Your story isn't finished yet, and I pray that in years to come you will see why it had to be 'no' this time, so that it could be 'yes' to the child(ren) that are picked out just for you. When our little girl came to us, I was amazed at the attention to detail God had put in there! Sorry it's so hard right now, but hang in there!

Our LA didn't bat an eyelid when we said we were practising Christians, and apart from the questions we were asked (as others have already mentioned), this didn't make a jot of difference.We're at the matching stage now and in fact some of the profiles we've been sent have mentioned the parents preferring their children to be bought up in the Christian faith - so I think it's actually proved a positive for us. This actually surprised us as we'd heard horror stories in the past and thought our faith would be a barrier - but I guess He had other plans!! Is the 'no' you've received for a match or during the process of being approved? If it's during the process I'd try another agency (VA or LA) ...