Edited 17/02/2021
Adoption activity day
oliveoyl
July 22, 2013 22:29
HiWe''re hoping to be approved to adopt in the next month or so and have been offered the chance to go on an adoption activity day.We''re a bit confused as we have been told all along that we will be considered for the children in the la system, but this event isn''t even in the same county. Not that it matters too much to us as long as we are matched with a child, but the mixed messages make me nervous as we have been led up the garden path before.Also, what sort of activities happen at these events? My husband is a great father (he has 2 children from a previous relationship), but he isn''t the type to get down on the floor and play games with children he doesn''t know. I''m worried that he won''t relax at an event like this and this will go against us with the social workers.If we turn down an event like this would it go against us? I''ve nagged a lot to get things done and now when really positive things happen I consider saying no.It would be great to hear of others experiencesOliveoyl
buttercup81
July 23, 2013 14:15
Hi OliveoylI would say go... if you get there and dont like it you can come away.We went to one on 13th july. In the lead up to it i was anxious and even posted on here.On the morning I went into complete melt down. what if it was competitive, what if the children didnt want to play with us, was it mean on the children would they understand why they were there. Anyway DH and my mum gave me a good talking to - they told me if i got there and didnt like it to come home but i would always wonder what if, if we didnt go!Anyhow im digressing - there were loads of activities, bouncy castles on the field, water games, project build a castle, little bikes and cars, sand and water tables, a childrens entertainer, indoor soft play, we were blessed with excellent weather and so it was spent mainly outdoors although I am not convinced all the children were thankful of the heatThere is no pressure to play if your husband isnt comfortable. You get a briefing before you see the children and a booklet with a mini profile of each child present (no info is given though) it is just, they like peppa pig, spoderman etc. No ages are given but names are. You cant take the profiles out of the room so the children dont see them. we had a nosey - identified three sibling groups we thought would match our age criteria and went for a wonder. The sibling group we fell for actually found us to play and we are just waiting to hear if we are going to be linked! Go go go - they are becoming more and more popular. You might not see any children you feel are right for you but then you might see a few. Nothing will go against you - if you dont want to go your social worker will understand, if you do go and want to come away again they will understand - not all matching methods suit everyone and at least this is a small element of choice for you.With regards to your DH, he can wander, he can just chat with SW's or FC's but you never know he might just find himself chatting with a LO and playing with them! I hope that helps - if you have any specific questions just ask!Buttercup xx
Edited 17/02/2021
oliveoyl
July 23, 2013 16:10
Thanks Buttercup,It has put my mind at rest, I was convincing myself it would be quite competitive, and that saying no to an opportunity wouldn't look good. I don't want to go because I feel I have to and I'm getting the impression that's not the case.I hope everything goes well for your sibling group, fingers crossed for you.Oliveoyl x
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wig
July 24, 2013 13:36
I agree with Buttercup. ...just go!! We were really unsure about attending for the same reasons as you. We are quite reserved at times and felt we would be pressured to play with the children and may be judged if we didnt. This was not the case at all. We had a good chat with some fcs and sw. There was so much going on for the kids it had a kind of fayre atmosphere. We gained so much from the day and will definitely attend more in the future. Good luck. Wig. Xx
Edited 17/02/2021
loulou81
July 25, 2013 22:26
good eveningcan i ask where the activity day is /we have recently been approved and have not been told about an activity daythank you
Edited 17/02/2021
buttercup81
July 26, 2013 07:42
Hi loulou81LA's run them, ours was run by our own LA but had children their from the collabrative 4 LA's that they work with.If you go to the BAAF website it will tell you where the next one is and i think there is an interest contact however I would be wary of contacting them to say you are interested until you have discussed this with your SW, especially if it is not in your area.I dont know how long you have been approved but often you have to give your LA 3 months to match you before you can look yourself further afield. And if this activity day isnt in your area then your SW may not be happy with you going. Just a thought.Anyway good luck and I cant see it doing any harm to ask your social worker about these events you may well just find out that there is one coming up in your area that the SW can get you on!Buttercup x
Edited 17/02/2021
oliveoyl
July 30, 2013 09:31
Hi loulou81, The activity day we've been offered is being held in Dorset and its ran by BAAF so definately worth looking on their website. It has children from different authorities attending, so we're not in Dorset but are prepared to travel.Hope that helps.Oliveoyl. X
Edited 17/02/2021
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