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School Issues

Almond June 11, 2019 16:50

Hi I just wondered how other people deal with school issues. My son is 14 years old and has always struggled at school. Transitions are difficult for him and in the last couple of weeks he has changed his subjects, timetable and had a new PSA. We have had a number of school refusals recently and today I was advised that he has broken a TV by pulling some cables out of it. He is completely denying touching the TV which is not unusual when something has happened.

I am just wondering how other people deal with this type of thing? The school did not deal with the transition in the best way, I only found out he had a new PSA yesterday, 1.5 weeks after the change happened!

Today I have just talked to him about what the school said and then acted normally but not sure if I should be making more of this? In the past I have got angry, put a consequence in place but just found it was too stressful at home and to be honest I am not surprised he is acting out just now with everything that is going on it coming to end of term (we are Scotland)

Edited 17/02/2021
Serrakunda27 June 11, 2019 18:08

We don't have too many issues with school but I've always been of the view that its best to let school deal with school, unless its persistent or disruptive and then I'd want to work with school about how to address the behaviour. But I don't see the point in punishing twice.

Like you say, you arent surprised he is unsettled, so what use is any punishment going to be ? although to br honest if he pulled some cables, the damage could well be accidenental. My son's favoured method of 'fixing' things is to pull wire or bash remote controls on the table - he isnt being willfully destructive, just extremely heavyhanded.

if you've had a chat, to be honest I'd leave it. He knows you are aware, presumably school have put in some consequence ? Its not worth the stress at home.

Edited 17/02/2021
Almond June 11, 2019 18:36

Thanks Serrakunda, I am struggling a bit at the moment with the whole school thing. It has always been an issue for him although on the whole things are better now as he used to be quite aggressive but I never know if I am doing right for doing wrong!

Edited 17/02/2021
Safia June 12, 2019 22:25

I agree that you should leave it up to school to set the consequences - he doesn’t need double consequences and I’m sure school will have shamed him enough. I think you handled it perfectly by staying calm and letting him know you know - I think it’s important he does know school communicate with you but also that you don’t over react - he needs you to regulate him especially if school are unable to do this and in fact appear to be doing the opposite

Edited 17/02/2021

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