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Hi DonatellaYou replied yesterday to my post about my DD not really being able to give me much space and as I read your post today I totally relate to the two things you've said about being with grandparents, having all the attention and being happy and then when mummy appears she kicks off. Also my dd has been crying going into nursery for the past two weeks and the teachers then take her and give her lots of one to one and special treatment and I think it's become a habit!!! My dd loves the attention. What to do? I don't know either!!! Looking forward to hearing other responses and sending you lots of thoughts cos it isn't easy!! Maybe it's Christmas and everything being a bit different??

Well, I've spoken to nursery this morning and told them that I noticed how she'd behaved yesterday. From what they say I think they're having fewer problems with littly than they are with some of the other children there so they're quite thankful to have lots of little cuddles with her. They do watch her though. They are aware that she'd like to be with them more than the other children and they are actively encouraging her to spend time with the other children. And they are aware that she's not keen on sharing attention and are working on it.Feel a bit happier now. Maybe if you're worried about it then you could speak to the nursery staff and ask if they can help her integrate with the other children?Littly is going to be in hog's heaven today. They have a grandfather who works for the Community Council (and NSPCC) bringing in his dog. Her two favourite things in the whole world - grandads and dogs.

I do think children who haven't had a good start in life often want more attention than others - even when they seem happy otherwise. I am basing this on the fact that both mine have been like this, though in different ways, and the assumption that adopted kids often feel less confident than non adopted children (people I know with birth children and adopted children have said this). I feel sure it is something to do with early changes of carer making them less secure, however good care they have received.My 3 year old competes for attention from me a lot and it's getting quite manipulative. She keeps touching things she knows she's not allowed to etc to get me to notice her. She is often a bit wobbly when she goes into nursery - until one of the staff talks to her and takes her off to an activity. In assemblies I have seen her on the lap of a member of staff. However I can also see she is getting better at leaving my side in the playground etc and starting to socialise more with other children - I just think it'll take her longer than her peers.dd1 was notable for her attention seeking and always had to make a relationship with an adult in a new situation until quite recently - and it's not gone completely. Even at a party she'd go and talk to the mum before the other children. She also has a need to control the relationship - ie get the adult to do something for or with her. But she has got gradually better and is much more confident now.I don't think you can force it personally - you need to build up their emotional independence as and when they are ready for it. I know I have pushed dd1 to do things but it works better when she wants to do it herself. (She now tells me NOT to stay at events with her so something has gone right!!)

Milly, I'm sure our two were separated at birth!! You have just described her perfectly and I think you're right. I think with bigly I did maybe push him into doing things before he was comfortable - it took him a very long time before he'd leave my side at parties. I'm talking 3 years - and he came to us at 5 months. Littly is getting better and, like your little one, actively wants to go off running around the yard when I pick up the boys. Some of her little pals from nursery are also there picking up their sibs and she's quite happy running off and playing with them.It's nice to hear that it's not unusual, so thanks.