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Oh Lily Hugs to you and your daughter. In my thoughts Johanna xx

oh Lily, you are in my thoughts, I hope she can make a recovery xx

Lily, please know that we are on your side. Thinking of and praying for you and dd and her partner. Sorry things have erm well fallen into a heap and landed in a&e. I am actually pleased hospital are looking to hang onto her to help her. It is good to place a distance at time of crisis but I know that every bone in your body will want to go see her straight away Well done lily my friend

This is such a sad situation. I’ve read about your children over the years, Lily, and I was so sorry to hear what has been happening. I hope the hospital staff will keep her in and get professional help for her alcoholism as well as helping her with her chest infection and other problems. Sending love to you and gentle, virtual hugs for that special girlie of yours. X

So sorry. We all may not know each other, but suffer similar sorrows and challenges however old our children are. Wishing you and your family a good outcome .x

Lily I am so sorry to hear this - she has had many demons to face over the years. Love, ((hugs)) and prayers for you all xx

Sorry to hear about your daughters struggles. I really hope something good comes out of this even if it means sectioning. This might open up roads to better support. She can not be at a better place right now, I hope this fact gives you some repose.

Sending support and a huge hug for you Lily. Your DD is in the best possible place in the circumstances, as others have said. Love Larsti xx

Thank you so much for your replies and your kindness and understanding. It means a lot. She phoned me from the hospital this morning and asked me to fetch her. She lives an hour's drive away and we have deteriorating weather conditions. She said her partner's car was not working and she only had her pyjamas. I asked to speak to a member of staff. I spoke to a staff nurse. He said she had yet to be seen on the ward round and they were not looking at discharge for her. I said this was her usual pattern and I would not collude with her. I then had several phone conversations with her partner. He said that he thinks she could have died when she had the seizures if he had not been there. She was having difficulty breathing. He puts up with a lot from her. Sometimes she orders him to leave the flat. He is understanding as his mother was a psychiatrist. A short time ago I had a phone call from the staff nurse at the hospital. He said he had spent most of the day with her. She is adamant that she is leaving. The staff nurse said that she is discharging herself against medical advice but that she is believed to have capacity and they cannot section her. She has been seen by the psychiatric team. I asked him about aftercare. I had previously told him that she got no aftercare on the last occasion. The only help she had got was from her local church. He told me that she has been offered aftercare at the seizure clinic and psychiatric aftercare. She has declined everything. This is also a well established pattern. I have tried so hard in the past to get services for her. Sometimes she has been offered services. She walks away from them all. I think she has no insight or understanding. She is in total denial. Her partner told me she is a secretive drinker. I have been fighting for her for 26 years. She is her own worst enemy. How can someone who is so perceptive about other people be so lacking in reason about herself? It leaves me feeling angry and despairing. I am very aware that her birth mother died of an alcohol related seizure. It is like history repeating itself. Her partner is picking her up to take her home. She had lied about his car not working. Lily

So sorry to read all this Lily. Her partner sounds wonderful. ((((((Lily))))))

That is so sad Lily - I was going to reply earlier saying that at least she was in the best place and they were saying they would section her to keep her there but sadly that is no longer the case. Is she still taking ADHD meds as well as drinking - that can't be good? It must be so hard for you and so frustrating and so difficult to know what to do? Can anyone at the church help this time or her wonderful partner to try to get her to understand what is going on and the seriousness of the situation and how desperately she needs help? It is such a complex and sad situation - much love to you all

(((((((Hugs)))))))) So sad. Johanna x

You must be so, so worried xx Fingers crossed that AD sees the 'light' & can engage in some help so history does not repeat itself xx Big big hugs xx

I'm so sorry Lily. I hope she finds a way to access the help she needs and so pleased that she has a partner that is so supportive. ((hugs)) for you all xx

This is such sad and bad news. Lily: do you think your daughter realises that she’s killing herself? I think that one of the doctors needs to explain this to her very clearly and without medical jargon. She may be under the illusion that she can do without medical or other specialist intervention; but, as you and we know, there will come a point of no return; when even if she wants to pull back from the brink, it will be too late. Could you speak to the doctor and ask them to have that conversation with her? I suggest it isn’t you that does this. I think she needs to hear the straight truth from someone who’s not emotionally involved but who knows what the consequences of her actions/inactions will be. I’m so sorry. Xx

Thank you for your support. I have just had a phone call from her. She is back home. She said she got a great welcome home from the dogs. We had a sensible conversation. The hospital have been very thorough. She has had many scans and X rays during the day. She appears to have been on the specialist neurology ward. The chest X ray showed up the severe chest infection. She is taking medication for that. She also had a head X ray. It seems the neurology specialist is concerned about the results. There is something not right with her brain. She described it as a shadow on the X ray. She told me that she has thought better about what she said at the time and that she will keep the follow up hospital appointments. There are always questions asked about whether she should continue on the Concerta medication for her ADHD. The trouble is that the Concerta keeps her emotionally stable. Without it her behaviour deteriorates and she can become aggressive. Lily

I think that should be a brain scan rather than an X ray. Lily

Lily Sorry for you and your lovely daughter. I think that sometimes huge fear and perhaps shame leads our ADs and ASs away from assistance when we would most expect them to accept or to reach out for help. Facing reality takes a certain amount of emotional strength and self belief so I understand why your daughter acts in harmful ways. Perhaps now that she is in her own surroundings she will be more open to discussion or at least will keep her appointments. I hope that she begins to improve physically. You and her partner can't do more than you are doing. All the best x

Your love for your daughter shines out of your posts. I am sure it's because of your love she is able to allow her partner to show her care and support. Although you must feel so frustrated about her lack of engagement with the hospital. The distrust of professionals and the belief that they have to survive on their own is so engrained in our children. Praying you will have the wisdom no know when to phone her when to phone the professionals and peace in your heart as you make those decisions