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Cupcake is now in Year 3. He started swimming lessons with school a few weeks ago. He has misbehaved each time and got excluded from the session last week. I feel he is very stressed about the sessions and is then unable to regulate himself, follow instructions, etc. He also does not cope at all well with unstructured time/waiting.I have been into school to talk to his class teacher about this. We discussed his behaviour and things which feed into this. I felt it was a constructive meeting at the time but he still misbehaved last week and and ended up missing the session. He was very tearful when he got home, and felt full of remorse, guilt and shame. I had explained to the teacher that we have ongoing difficulties with washing/dressing/peronal care at home, and that these have been constant since he first came to live with us. He also has sensory processing issues (including being touch sensitive) which feed into this. His teachers seem to think that behacuse he is bright and felt remorseful, he will learn from this and be fine next time. I know from long-standing expereince that it does not work like that whith him, and that the stress he is expereincing will continue to impact on his behaviour. On the morning of school swimming he is anxious from the moment he wakes up, and becomes increasinly unable to focus and self-regulat - he''s "all over the place". He has told me he is worried he is going to be naughty when he goes swimming, but this self-awareness does not give him the ability to stop himself, and he is very aware of this. I have said I will do some work to help try to prepare him, including a social story (he is not on the asd spectrum but copes positively with this type of preparation/support). He is due to go swimming again tomorrow and I wanted to quickly check with staff so I could be sure about some of the inforation I could put in the story, including who would walk with him. I have just come home, quite tearful and frustrated after speaking to one of his class teachers. He has two part-time teachers and the one I spoke to this morning is the generally more the /supportive whe his comes to his behviour .....However, she does not work on the days he goes swimming. The thing that upset me most was that she refused to acknowledge that his past may impact on his behaviour during swimming. She said he knows he has misbehaved and will from the conseqences of his naughty behaviour, as all children do. This has been the most positive year we have had with the school, and there have been some very challenging times in previous years. Things have deteriorated a bit since his second teacher returned from planned leave earlier this year (she has a very different style from the other teacher and Cupcake responds negetively to teachers who are very strict), but Cupcake has coped well on the whole.I feel that once again I am banging my head against the wall with school staff who just don''t "get it" when it comes to traumatised children, and who feel that because adopted our children are now living with loving, caring parents then everything is reolved for the child. Again,I have come away feeling that I am being judged about my parenting, that I am over-reacting, and that I am always trying to make excuses for my child''s behaviour.Cupcake is a bright boy and coping remarakbly well given his past experience - COPE being the operative word. His disruptive behaviour is generally about not feeling safe. I feel saddened and concerend that school staff cannot understand that a child who has expereinced sustained early abuse might find getting changed and going swmiining with 35 classmates pretty stressful!He goes for regular after-school lessons to the same pool, and has been familiar with the pool for the last 4 years. I accompany him for these lessons and he is absolutely fine - he has been doing well and had really started to enjoy swimming.Sorry for the rant (typed rather badly though misty eyes), but I am sick of being made to feel that I am the one with the problem. Behaviour issues are by no means limited to swimming but Cupcake does manage to hold it together well enough to make good progress with the curriculum without requiring any extra support, and is not hitting triggers which would require refferal to other support services. I am sick of being told that they have 35 other children to support, that they cannot allow him to behave/be treated differently fron the other children,and that he''s not the only child in the class/school who has had a difficult life!Any ideas, tips you may have would be much appreicaited - for both the swimming issue and dealing with the school in general. Pattercake xx