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A contact order is never good, it makes you a foster carer without allowens. Do not adopt this child, if the birth family plays such important part in the childs life the child should be in long term foster care. Never forget how longer you live with the child and realise what neglect does to a child, how more difficult contact is. This is my personal opinion, social services will try to concince you otherwhise, never forget adoption is the cheap option for the goverment.

Yes contact orders are enforceable in Scotland (I think technically they are contact clauses in the adoption order) - avoid if you can. We have direct contact but luckily its not in the adoption order so is entirely at our discretion so we can change/stop it as we see fit. We do know a family who had monthly contact as part of the AO - sadly, last we heard, one child had been taken back into care as it was just too disruptive and they had been unable to settle in their new family.

I disagree slightly with Pluto, my AD has a letterbox contact order and she is amazing, she shouldn't have been left languishing in long term foster care just because she wants to hear from her mum twice a year. I think how disruptive it is depends on the time and frequency of contact. Mine is very specific - no cards of any description, no reference to loving or missing AD, letters to be signed with first names (although at the moment AD writes hers to mummy) and no photos (although we can send photos if I choose to do so). All letters in both directions are to be checked by the letterbox team and will be binned if in any way inappropriate. If you are having contact as part of an AO, push for it to be on your terms! Only accept what you are comfortable with.

I think the crucial difference is whether it is letterbox contact or face to face. I wouldn't touch face to face with a barge pole, agree with Pluto there. But letterbox, if within guidelines like kstars (and my oldest son's) can be very valuable.

I fully agree social services are looking for cheapest option. Contact could be good depending on circumstances and each case needs to be judged on its own merits. Neglect can cause huge long term problems for a child.Don't ever think I couldn't cope with A, B , or C but a neglected child would not be so bad. if they have been neglected A b or C might have happened too