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sending down the now hard scotch eggs that someone...."it was not me" left open...they make excellent throwing missiles. enjoy your day.

Don't forget to drop all rations in the yellow gritty stuff before you eat them

Welcome to the outer zone aka no mans land of the orchardAll orchard members accounted for, even Arf blossom who enjoyed a sandy sandwich or 2 En1 is skint however £6.70 for 1 ice cream and 2 cola bottles must surely be a record!For a time all 3 orchard sprogs played on the gritty warm stuff, digging to Australia, making a large design of ARF castle defences and pulling shocked gawping faces as a poor mother struggled with 2 swearing special needs girls.It was (almost) domestic bliss, howeverArf partridge needed a great deal of reigning in as gobby comments abounded and his castle was the highest, hole the deepest and "operation bury self" was completed to perhaps international standards...Non Arf pip was far more interested in the fact that Arf blossy has got boobies not like mummies as they stay up even without bras on (!) and a "tuck eeny" that is the desired colour pink with blingShe's decided that when she is 15, this will be her hand me down of choice. en has pointed out that if she takes after en1 then the tuck eeny may need a lot of tuck to squeeze into itThere was a large sproingy a doyoing air filled device of fun present on the golden gritty stuffArf blossom pipArf partridge and several far smaller ones scaled its heights,Pip got the wobbles half way upThen heroes rescue came in and never fear the Arf were here and scaled a full attempt to retrieve a yowling 5 yr old from the mountain of bouncy slide doomCelebratory cola and ice cream quelled all nerves En1 didn't read any kindle.En2 got sent for fish and chip rations as en1 exhausted There can't be that many families that have to alert 3 MISPER teams in various boys and girls in blue uniforms before they go to the beach for the day?The bunker was a code "wise move" especially with agents who zone out and need to feel contained for a bit.

Naturally the Orchard will have their own personal protection units with the boys and Girls in blue - as a family of national importance Agent Shrimp's bootcamp have various concerns about behaviours indicating previous experiences Luckily bootcamp operatives are all code 'lovely' and concerned about agent rather than code 'having a go at EN'.EN now has to try to arrange referral to SCUM in manner that will actually result in code 'meaningful action'. On the other hand, the big glowing thing in the sky is out and making everyone unseasonably warm even to the extent that woolly coverings have been discarded

Late night report fromEns double bunkerEn2 currently out to entertainment zone with arf partridge This is to see humorous moving pictures screen of magnitude aka 'worlds end'En1 has had a 'dodgy body day' and really not moving very muchEn1 looking forward to a nights soft early slumberIt's been arf blossoms big 16En2s 30 something and en1 is very tired indeedBody further rebellion with hideous knee pain and to cap it a fetching lumpy bumpy rash up the back of leg appendagesSmall non agent pip has had a code 'bad dream' due to new article in no mans land Aka 'fairweeeeee door' made from substances sold as FIMOSmall PIP is actually very afraid that they might in fact ce out through the door At same time loves themArf blossom spent some time working with the large wooly spitting things.... No not the older teens at unit.... The llamas And friendly alpaca are enjoying her lavish attentions of brushing and shampoosEn1 has offered to show them how to make wool from their fleeces Unit staff have agreedWhich is a positive reflection on how far the relationship between us had developed positivelySecretly en1 is hoping to slip In bungee ropage so Arf blossom can be thwacked super quick straight back to unit when she does a runner next time

EN Camp T offering virtual knitting skills for wool once spun, will include code 'shirring elastic' of magnitude previously unknown to take care of agent Blossom's exploring tendencies...

It's morning and arf partridge is still in bunkerPip has declared him STINKY Refused to visit gangly brother in his bunkerThis suits agent just finePip is in no mans land with her new fairweee doorShowing bemused grandparents who are visiting next doors little personsEn1 still is struggling to moveSo sticker books and puters have been brought to her so she can entertain small pip and actually large gangly agent quite likes to know where he can find en at any given timeAhAgent has risenMuttering about mount shreddy Pip is off round to little person next door to playSo en2 is supervisor

EN Camp T has a commission.Agent Shrimp emerged into the world 6 years ago this month. She has requested a code 'princess dress' for the celebratory occasion. EN has womanfully brought mechanical stitching equipment out of retirement and removed large quantities of dust.This princess will - if all goes well - be covered in pale purple sparkly stuff and the envy of all. If things don't go well...

If things don't go well, agent may be having an "under da sea ' ( everybody sing) celebratory do, as main agent coming as purple sparlkly octopus / jelly fish may dictate the mood

Camp Haze reporting a miraculous experience from a few days ago. Agent Cashew came to EN1 for a cuddle (instead of either attacking EN or indulging in self mutilation), climbed into bed with EN and blubbed & snotted onto En's shoulder as in major turmoil following meeting and subsequent separation from new love interest who sadly resides a distance away and unlikely to be seen by Cashew for some time.EN experienced mixture of trepidation, amazement and wonder at first EVER experience of code 'proper' cuddles from said 14 year old. Agent Pistachio sadly did not appreciate said closeness, feeling usurped by Cashew, and was a complete wotsit in response for rest of day.ENs now enjoying a rare week off as agents on holiday with Dad.Hoping other camps get a chance to recharge their batteries also.

Sound the trumpets, ring the bells.....Arf cashew has apparently has become slightly De-arfedCelebrating success of camp hazeEn2 being a pain as he's in KRYTON modeAnd forgotten to collect his nutty avoider pills.

Hurray for agent Cashew!!!Indeed, jellyfish option very good suggestion from PT. Altogether now "always look on the bright side of life..."Agent Clam has been amazingly code 'affectionate' for 3-4 weeks now. Done chores. Played with small sister agent. Allowed EN to hug her IN PUBLIC Accompanied of course by continuous thumb action on mobile communication device to 120 'close friends'

Hippety fo dahDeclared non arf pip at very early and should be banned o'clockReason?It's still summer holidaysHer friend is coming to play todayThe goods emporium of food delivery glory is about to make their weekly arf land orchard depositAgent partridge is in worry about en1s various malfunctions modeThis involves frequent gobby bravado leaks But also sneaking loving, caring gestures to en1En2 is going to visit mashHe doesn't know this yetBut en1 thinks that he's stressedAnd needs new happy pillsHoping for good day all round

Hup 2 3 4 and fllllllexxxx!Yes it's the arf training campAre you ready?Lets goooooooooooFirst of all stretch that jawYou'll need that for doing the 24 orchard news headlines every few minutesSpread your arms and fingers widddddeThe tapping clapping and fidgeting with things will cause the digits to droop otherwiseOk and JOG Speedy to the leftZoom to the right Hup 2 3 4

Steady on PT, don't over do it... EN Camp T is Not Happy.For once this has nothing to do with the ARF, who performed miracles this morning including agent Clam getting up before being told even once and agent Shrimp limiting drama queen antics to a minor flounce .No, comrades, this is because I have to deal with the gvnt dept responsible for immigration in my current location. Having kept me waiting for 21 months for a crucial decision (theoretical timeframe 6-8 months), they now inform me they have lost my documents and I now need to resubmit them It's not only SCUM who manage to be spectacularly incompetent...

Especially for dear agent Blossom - how to saddle your llama... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzxv1peEgQg

Camp T possibly holding a renaming ceremony...Agent Clam may be turning into agent Oyster and producing pearls - agent was allowed to stay up last night as today is code 'public holiday' aka code 'extra work for ENs'. EN went to bunker at 10pm leaving agent doing the code 'washing up' and awoke this am to find flat tidy and spotless even to the extent that the cooker had been pulled out and cleaned behind Agent Shrimp, to compensate, is aiming for agent Limpet status EN hoping that wobbliness is related to approach of natal anniversary and is therefore time limited as the Big Day(s) will one day be past...

Waiving salutes to all campsImpressed to hear of metamorphoses action in tolokoshe camp welcome to spread expertise in the washing up department any timeEn1 hasn't been up to reportingShivering under duvet has been en1s actionThis is due to code infectionSo en agreed with en2 to having dr outArf partridge very worriedThink perhaps agent is worried about himself and him not liking it if en1 goes into mash.....En1 has managed to eat something so this must be a sign of good things

Camp T sending getting better vibes to the Orchard...