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Hi. I do understand your frustration and your strong desire to proceed. I too had an extensive infertility fight. It was essential that we had counselling as a couple to explore those feelings that are involved with infertility and to accept tat you will not have birth children. TBH if you get upset or emotional discussing your infertility you are not "over it" and need some help to process those emotions. SWs like professional opinions, not just prospective adopters opinions that they have "closed the door". One of the reasons we progressed so easily to approval was that both my DH and myself had extensive counselling and references by counsellors/physch. Stage 2 will mean extensive conversations about your infertility and you need to be able to discuss that in detail with very little emotion and with a rational view. Your GP can refer you or if you had IVF your clinic can also provide post treatment counselling. Or excellent private funded counselling is available if you have the funds. Also use that time to gain knowledge and child care experience as this will impress SW when they next review if you are ready to progress to stage 2. AUK can provide a list of recommended books and AUK also have training courses that you can attend. Its all about jumping through the hoops. It really is achievable. But you need to make yourself stand out from the crowd of prospective adopters Good luck. G

Hi G Many thanks for your response as it is nice to hear from someone who has been through it. I suppose this is just the first of many things we will face on our journey. Here's to jumping through hoops! Thanks again

Hi there, For different reasons. We had very similar and very out of the blue, I approached a therapy/counselling organisaton who would tell me it wasn't as straightforward as it possibly appeared, that it would need to be a three way agreement... There would be no guarantees that progression would be made either and we would have to foot the bill.. After lengthy discussions with the AM we felt it was in our best interests to resign from the LA and consider our options... Don't though be alarmed that is simply our experience, I'm sure you will work yours out x

i feel I'm in a similar situation... we discovered early in our relationship that we had a shot at if and the success rate was small. i had to have hysterectomy and we (after much emotion, conversation and truthfulness`) , we decided to try ivf. for us, we weren't trying for a long time, we faced the dilemma and decided what we were going to do .... the ivf didn't work. We went to introduciton course and put our interest forward over a year ago.... we are still waiting. any infertility issue needs time to grieve.... i understand it. however, we never had years of trying or the disappointments that people unfortunately deal with. We were given the shot early in our relationship, and we decided to try. seems unfair for someone to make a judgement on you like that, especially after a short visit. I feel i'm in a different bracket then some, as i haven't been trying for years and years. in fact, i never considered having a child till i met my, now husband. i feel so torn about things, as i have approached VA. they seem to get children through LA. and they are apprehensive to give children through as they try to place them themselves. i feel lost , annoyed and fed up. WE spent our lives preparing and waiting till the time was right and be prepared, and it almost feels so far away and unreachable. sorry for negativity.... this is the feeling tonight. thank you for the rant

Hello Chocoholic 88, I was just nosing at some of my historical stuff and came across this. Was wondering where you are at now with the process? We restarted the process with a VA and were approved last month.... I hope you have had a positive outcome? Warmest wishes x