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YodasRightSock May 20, 2021 08:58

My wife and I are meeting the social worker and family finder for a potential match to determine whether we are the right couple or another they are meeting the same day. Sadly it’s come at a time where we have just got a new SW, who we haven’t met yet and won’t be seeing until the evening before the meeting itself. They are also sadly not working until then as they are only part time so we have no idea at all what to expect from this meeting and it’s causing a bit of anxiety.

Would anyone be able to contribute their own experiences or the sort of questions they were asked so that we can at least feel a little better prepared before we go head to head with another couple?
Thank you

Safia May 20, 2021 10:11

It was a long time ago for us but what springs to mind is just being prepared in certain areas - what interests you about this particular child - why you think you would be a good parent for them (specifics) - what you have to offer in general such as experience skills etc - what the facilities in your local area are for children around the same age and also as a child gets older such as drop-ins playgroups schools and leisure facilities - why you want to be a parent and why you chose adoption. Also have some questions yourself - about the child and what happens next. They will probably want to have a quick look around the house and see the potential child’s bedroom etc so be prepared for this. Also try to be as natural and open and friendly as possible. SWs also like biscuits / cakes with their tea / coffee (or used to) as they might have come quite a distance. Your SW will probably help you work out what further information you would like about the child - you want to try and get a picture of them as a real individual and that is what FFs are visiting families for too - to see them as individuals and picture how the child might fit into their family / home. Also remember if they choose the other family it will just mean that they are a better fit for this child for whatever reason rather than you being judged inadequate in any way

Edited 20/05/2021

windfalls May 20, 2021 14:53

Very good advice from Safia. It was also a long time ago for us and we were also in a competitive match with two other couples. The most important thing is to be yourself, hard I know as you will be nervous but the social workers will expect this. But what they are also trying to discover is what your relationship is like with each other and thus how you will be as parents. They will want to see that you have a warm and loving relationship, that you respect and value each other's opinion and that you will work as a team. So you need to be on the same page in terms of how you will handle things like "discipline" , any conditions that the child may develop, birth family contact, being open about adoption as the child gets older, etc.

good luck and best wishes!! xxx

YodasRightSock May 21, 2021 11:12

Thank you very much for your assistance both, it really helps to have a heads up.

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Meeting the child social worker/family finder. What to expect?

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