We've been invited to my best friends wedding. My daughter has been asked to be a bridesmaid. I can't really say no as the other girls (the ones that my daughter is close to, really good friends with and know well and get on with) are bridesmaids too. Photos of my daughter can't be on social media as her birth family are a security risk. What can I do? Thanks in advance
How likely is it that the birth family came across these photos, if they were posted on social media? Do they live nearby? How well organised and dangerous is the birth family? Many birth families make threats, but are too chaotic to actually do something. So I would try to assess the risk. Unless lots of pictures will be posted on non-private accounts on SM AND there is an overlap in your social circles with the birth family's, it is very unlikely that they come across the pictures.
We also have a safety risk. We have always told school, workshops etc. that the children could only be photographed in groups. In group photos faces are small and few people study each face in detail. My children hated being singled out like that. If I were in your situation, I would just let her enjoy the day and hope for the best - unless there is a high likelihood that the birth family will come across the pictures.
Any wedding I’ve been to in the last few years the photos haven’t been directly posted on social media but guests are sent a link and they can ask for copies of photos from there - to the photographers website I presume - they can’t be copied directly by individuals (I’ve tried). Why not have a word with your friend to check what arrangements there are and the security involved. Then the most likely to take individual photos of your daughter would be the parents of the other bridesmaids - so maybe have a quiet word with them. Then unless you know there’s a particular risk (area / social circles) from any particular guests (again maybe talk it through with your friend - which particular area might pose a risk and she will know if any guests come from there and could have a discreet word) - then just relax and enjoy the wedding. No way would I ask for my daughter to be kept out of photos or even put at the back - this is such a special occasion for her and something her previous experiences / adoptive status shouldn’t be allowed to blight. I think when our kids are young we tend to be very anxious about the dangers but unless the area is close / photos will be in the paper or anything the risks are actually negligible and can be dealt with as far as possible
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