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Family year out?
Helen
May 4, 2013 13:07
Hello everyone, we have twin daughters,9, who were placed with us before their first birthday. We''re not without behaviour problems but we generally manage them and have had some supportive input from Cahms to us as parents.I think the girls are secure in the family and community. They are bright and physically confident and they make friends. Dh and I have the opportunity to live and work in India for 6 months, and we are wondering about having a family year out - perhaps seeking a second 6 months in Nepal. The Indian opportunity at least would mean we would have a base, a community and an english speaking school to belong to. (not an international school though) The timing means that the girls would miss year 6 - which, from reading some posts on the boards here, might not be a bad thing. We would have to do some home educating to keep up their maths and englishThe girls are pretty resilient. A year ago we and went to France for two months where they attended school. They look back on the experience positively.Dh and I are really keen to go. I spent a year in India many years ago and dh has VSO Africa experience. We are both ready to move on from our jobs and embrace a new challenge. and we want a big family adventure before the girls begin secondary school when it wont be so easy to do this. I cant be sure, but I think the girls will be alright when they are there, but I know they will strongly resist going. I wonder how I can make it easier for them. They are likely to know that we are going months before we actually leave and I dont want that to be a time of upset and anxiety for them.And really I am wondering about whether its right to put our desires for adventure above their stated wishes. Plenty of parents move with thier children to new countries for new work, but we dont have to do this. In the end I cant imagine that the experience wouldnt be great for them, but they wont know that until we are well in - and that could be after a lot of upset. Words of wisdom please.
pluto
May 4, 2013 13:32
I think it is a wonderfull opportunity. I also think you should do it and go, nothing is so good as sharing this sort of experiences as a family. As the experience in France was good, they will manage. Beside the fact they can stay in touch with friends so easily those days. It is also a good timing, before they have started puberty. It will give such a wealth of experiences.Prepairing? just talk about it confidently, ask their opinion and if they are negative sympathise, it will not always be easy, you are right, but you will also ... and than you come with the positives. And just think it this way: if there are problems you will find solutions to solve them. I did it, new language, new school, everything different, never regretted it.
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Pear Tree
May 4, 2013 13:53
WelcomeI thnk it sounds hugely exciting and it's a short time that you are in the position to be able to go.I hated moving as a child. We moved a lot with my dad and a fair bit over seas I hated having to start again with everything and liked being a home bird really. But this is different You are going to do it for the good of all of youPlan some of the good things the girls want to do to enrich their lives... If they have an interest in eg music or sport highlight those thingsIt's an adventure together.AndIf things don't workout you can come home.Make them part of it all and be honest about your hopes and fears and how you think and feel these are worked out As the girls have some difficulties (they will do of course) these will be worse at first as all that loss and change will bring it all out again.So, if you can get support in that first few months that would be a huge help.Even if its help around the home so you can support them together.All the best Pear tree
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Larsti
May 4, 2013 18:11
Sounds wonderful.I would go for it if I were you And let us know how it went....or send us a link to your blog!
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REM
May 4, 2013 20:31
Sounds like a fantastic opportunity! I think that seeing your and your husband's enthusiasm will be likely to make the children enthusiastic too.You're right that the wait between finding out about the trip and actually going will seem very long to the children. Maybe a big countdown calender with a few tasks that need accomplishing before you go will help. Not too many tasks, of course, because you wouldn't want them to worry. But perhaps being part of the preparation would make it seem like less of a wait. Time does ho much slower when you're little, and waiting can be so much harder!Hope it all goes well!
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suffolk puff
May 4, 2013 23:57
GO!!!gogogogodid you hear me Helen..???GO.....the girls will have YOU TWO for stability...and then life experiences that they may treasure, or they may not..but you won't know...unless you GO!!!go, go go...def....go.like you say..now or never till they leave home.good luck and happy wanderings...xxx
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Tokoloshe
May 5, 2013 09:47
How did they feel before they went to France? That's a great thing to refer back to as they are positive about it. Soooooo envious!
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Autumn Jade
May 31, 2013 22:00
Just echoing the above, sounds amazing & am sure it'll benefit the girls no end. I spent many years living overseas and feel the opportunity to learn another language, culture and view points has helped me no end. Go for it, with bells on!!
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