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Shadow, does shadette see, for example, you/ your parents or even wee dog as related to her bf?Just wondering if its something no one can work out or if its just me!

In short NO, middly who is the only one of mine that will talk about bf, makes it very clear that blood is thicker than a piece of paper...the piece of paper being the AO, bf are blood relatives and everyone else is related by paper....not sure how littly sees it all as she is on a real downer about bf at the mo.I can understand why partridge is assuming this, pip is his sister,blossom is his sister...so somewhere in there they must be related.Oh do tell mr pt....we love him...I could do with him and his antics here occasionally

We talk about how families are made in different ways. Friends who adopted singlies and then subsequently adopted again. they are siblings. friends with step brothers and sisters class them as siblings.Equally adopted children who have sibs placed elsewhere are still siblings but in a different situation.With regards to yr question, I think a family tree changes depending on who the centre is. so yr niece's family tree will share some commonality with yours, but will bring in a different branch. Partridge's would have both pip and bf but in my eyes bf family tree wouldn't extend as far as Pip.I did see an example of an adoptees family tree that had bf as roots and then adoptive family above as branches. There really is always something for you isn't there?

Hm. Well atm son's avowed opinion is that 'she ( BM) isn't anything to do with me' so we have a way to go on this one.But his family tree, as designed by me, shows adoptive and birth family on separate branches, but joined by son. I would say the two are connected but not related - like my sister-in-law' s family are connected to me (via her) but not related as such. By that I mean her parents, siblings etc. Her husband (my brother) is related to me of course and her children will be my nieces/nephews!

We've developed a way of showing the family tree that I'm not very satisfied with.Perhaps this has lead to the question!Basically partridge is in the middle.Then his adoptive family on the left, then adoptive family on the right, so that we can show how he fits in within each.Trouble is, we have a bigger family The bf are hugely complex including many 1/2 siblings,cousins and even nieces and nephews.I don't know how to represent this well If anyone has a way of setting out a very complex bf, please pm me/ message me

Can be so complex and I am sure everyone sees it from a different perspective.ds1 depending on his mood I am the best thing since sliced bread or the worst person in the world.And still get your not my real mum.But has so much going on in his head I am not sure he even knows. ds2 I am his mum and thats it.dd still has very strong feelings for bm and would like her to be part of her life. Not sure how much this is coloured by the many LAC children at her college who still have contact with bf. But she knows she is not in the right place to do anything about it at the mo.I think she feels we are all just part of her and should got on like we do with other siblings.That's not going to happen.as for their siblings elsewhere they see them as their siblings and not regularly but do phone each other and parents facilitates contact which works well.for a while ds3 felt like he was an only child as he has no blood siblings but has not been an issue for a while and he does treat the AC as his siblings and has even offered to care for ds2 when I can no longer do it.so rather mixed feelings.

I haven't had time to explore this but would see the. Tree as including a graft of the branch that is your son, from the bf into your family, alongside the offshoot of you and hubby that is pip. Does that help?

What a clever idea! Need someone clever in these things pingu123, to draw one properly

I saw a family tree once where the birth family were the roots, and the adoptive family were the branches (as in a normal family tree).

My dd sometimes struggles with this one.She sees herself as related to both families (which she is). But then struggles to understand that I'm not related to her bf in any way, nor are her cousins etc.We got around it by comparing it to marriage. For example, my sister is married, so her cousins have extra uncles, aunts, grandparents etc that Pip doesn't have - because they are on my BILs side of their family. So are relatives through marriage.It kind of helps Pip.

Dd is rather unusual in adoption as she is an only child to me and to both birth parents. Birth mum is dead and birth dad is happily single. Dd has always harboured the desire that me and birth dad will one day marry (err dream on). Not only that but she sees her foster siblings (children of her long term foster carer) as her real siblings. Intellectually she knows they are not but in her heart she longs for a large extended family with siblings - though would not cope if I adopted again. She is a bright, fairly together 16 year old with a huge desire to belong.

Just saw this, and my first thought was that it is like being related by marriage. Just got a birthday card and money through the post from my uncle (widower of my dad's sister)- no blood relative, but 'grafted' to my family for life.