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We used our surname right after Intros. We registered them at pre school in our name and at the GP they had a box on the PC screen that said would like to be known as so when they called out their names it was the same as ours. When they first came they said their names was xxxxx and we explained to them that we wonted to share our name with them to make us a proper family and from then on if asked they always used our surname .

I would have expected the children's social worker to have already introduced the idea, so maybe worth asking him/her for recommendations. (But maybe not if you think sw will be insisting on birth family name.)Can they already write their names? My 6 year old was a fluent writer and simply double-barrelled his new family name on the end of the old one. This worked really well, the new family name sounded good to him and became his last name from day one, with the old one prominent in the middle at first and then gradually moving into the background, a bit like a middle name.My dd was 5 and had only been taught to write her full birth name the week before intros and was really proud of it. It wasn't a good time to introduce a new spelling, but we did double barrel hers too. She stuck mostly with just her first name for several years but when she finally started to learn to spell (she's dyslexic) she reintroduced the old name before settling on the new one.I think, from an identity point of view, it was good to have the new family name from day one, without pressure on losing the old one.I also made sure we emphasised the importance of sharing a family name, and we recited the full names of cousins and grandparents who share our name so that they could hear the ring of the family name at the end of each name.School, dr's etc weren't a problem for us, they mostly used just first names or if they did use the old name the children didn't get confused because at that stage they "owned" both names.

My nearly six year old took my name on placement, I think it was very helpful for him, he didn't have to change his name at school when we got the adoption order. DS came before school holidays so we didn't discuss the name that much, then I didn't really have to as within the first week or two of placement he was asked what his name was by a child in the playground, he responded Junior Shortbread, that told me everything I needed to know.

I also used my surname from placement. At school they were 'known as' and the new surname was used for everything. The school didn't have a problem with this and it saved LOs having to explain a surname change later on. I didn't ask the SW permission and they never asked me what surname LOs were using.

Once they start school again, it may be harder to get the name change done, so I would think going for it asap is the best way.Easier for me, as DS was a pre-schooler so didn't have a firm idea of his surname (in fact he has no memory of it now).

This is what's concerning me. They really do have a strong sense of identity that includes their surname. I opened up a discussion about adoption this evening and it is obvious that they had not really heard this word before or if they had they had no concept of what it means. To them I am their forever mummy but I'm note sure if they really understand that either!! I am seeing their social worker tomorrow so will discuss it with her.

Congratulations Levygirl on your placement.Beware that your SW may tow (toe?) the party line on surnames, which our SWs said are "never" changed before the Adoption Order.While officially this may be true, in practical day to day life, ie schools, it isn't - and I think there's a lot of sense in changing them early on if your kids can be persuaded to go along with this. It otherwise forces you to have a lot of explaining to do months / years down the line when the AO goes through to explain the later change in surname. And this may come at a time when you don't necessarily want outside interest in your family affairs, or for your children to have to answer questions from the interested / curious / nosey!!Blueberry2

Hi Levygirl,I had a similar experience to most posters - used new name "known as" from day one, for absolutely everything - school, new GP etc.Didn't encounter any problems.Good luck,Phoebe x

Just to put the alternative experience in: my DS's SW wasn't having any of it: No change of name, known as, double-barrelled or anything else pre-AO. She actually checked up with the school that I hadn't tried to get them to use 'known as' or anything else!