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Hi Safia, I will do some research and apply again to the adoption support fund.

That's exactly how I've reassured her but my husband doesn't agree, he thinks i should have promised nothing will happen but I don't see how I can promise that because then If someone does happen I'll get accused of lying probably.

She's asked for lots of hugs today so I've gave her lots.

She's in my bed tonight but I'm just hoping she sleeps a bit more because I'm exhausted

Hi, I think it’s perfectly understandable that your daughter is worried and anxious. I think most people are - adults and children. If you Google “explaining Ukraine to a child” you’ll see lots of ways to explain.

There’s also this which has appeared frequently on Facebook

“Explaining the war in the Ukraine to children.....❤ After the last BIG playground fight (WW2), lots of popular kids (WORLD LEADERS) got together and made a big gang (NATO), and all the kids in the gang made a pinky promise (TREATY) to be nice and respectful and not fight each other anymore. This means not going into each other's part of the playground (COUNTRY) without permission, and not throwing sticks or stones (HEAVY ARTILLERY) at each other, and the UK is part of the gang. But then a new kid (UKRAINE) joined the playground, and a big bad bullly (RUSSIA) started picking on the new kid, all because he is greedy and bossy and wanted the new kids playground space for himself, even though he has one of the biggest spaces in the playground. But sadly, the new kid is not part of the gang because the big bad bully didn't want the new kid to join the gang. We would be breaking our pinky promise if any of the gang members help the new kid fight the bully. We have all told the bully off, and stuck up for the new kid by hiding the bully's pocket money until the bully stops hurting the new kid (SANCTIONS) and this will hopefully stop the bully from buying more sticks and stones. We have also given the new kid lots of our own sticks and stones to fight the bully, because this is not breaking the pinky promise! Even though it is really, really sad, all we can do now is stand on the edge of the playground and watch and give moral support to the new kid, because we are not allowed to fight the bully for them, not without breaking the pinky promise. BUT... if the bully breaks the pinky promise and comes into our part of the playground (UK) without permission and throws a stick or stone at us, then the whole of the gang (NATO) will come and help us, and we will ALL jump on top of the bully (RUSSIA) and beat him up. 🤺🤺🤺

Hi Donatella, I think your right most people are worried, I'm worried too.

I'll Google ways to explain it today. I like that way you've copied and pasted from Facebook, thats a very good way to explain to children.

My husband wants to promise her nothing will happen but I'm anxious to promise that just incase

When you explain it to her, mention your family and how you and your husband will always be there for her and love and support her and stay together, as this will link in with her fears around loss.

I will do chestnuttree, going to try and explain it tonight

She didn't get to sleep until half 4 last night and was then up at 7

Im done now! Absolutely done! My husband has been shouting at me because he wants to promise her nothing will happen but I don't want to promise that just incase.

Should I just promise her nothing will happen to please him?

I don’t think you can promise nothing will happen - you can’t be sure - you could say it’s unlikely anything will happen and tell her how much you love her and that you’ll always be there for her and you’ll do your very best to protect her whatever happens - and minimise her exposure to the news

That's what I've just done Safia when she was home from school. I hope she knows how much I love her

Husband has gone off in a strop and booked himself in a hotel for the night and just walked out! Told me where he was going but didn't tell them (kids) anything or say bye

That’s a bit of an overreaction on your husbands part isn’t it?

I agree Safia but what can I do now?

She's asked to sleep in my bed again so she's in my bed

Hoping she sleeps properly tonight, she must be exhausted by now because I am

Could you make an appointment with a GP and get some Melatonin for all of you? You are all clearly under huge strain. It will probably help, if you get a few nights rest.

Hi chestnuttree, I hadn't thought of that but yes, I'll try and make a GP appointment tomorrow x

Am I a bad mum for not promising her that nothing will happen? My husbands trying to make me feel like I am

Oh Magic,

As Chestnuttree says you all getting exhausted! Lack of sleep can make anyone lose their temper. Though I do understand you cannot promise your daughter what’s happening in Ukraine won’t have an impact on us (just look at the price of petrol), I can see your husband point thinking nothing will happen in terms of an expanding war, bombing London etc. So you might be both right.

Your husband, like you and your daughter, must be exhausted too and if he (or both of you) works outside the home the exhaustion is just unbearable. That in turns leads to a conflict in your family. So technically, as my boys say, the situation in Ukraine has had an impact in your family already. Have you asked your daughter what exactly is worrying her? Have you asked yourself what is it (deeply within yourself) that’s worrying you?

Booking an appointment to see your GP is a good approach as he/she may help you dealing/addressing your and family anxieties.

Hope you all sleep tonight.

Hi Agape,

My daughters already asleep now in my bed, flaked straight out so I'm going to go to sleep soon.

We both work outside of the house. I'm full time and my husband is part time

My daughter is worried about us ending up being attacked or bombed or dragged into war, I'm slightly worried too but not as much as my daughter

The thing is, my husbands always overreacted to things like this so it's not the first time, one time a few years ago he left us for a whole week just because my daughter couldn't sleep one night

What’s triggering his reaction? Your daughter lack of sleep? Something else? Anyhow, let’s try to get some sleep. Your must be exhausted, working, family life and this problem.

I’m really praying you will all sleep tonight. Talk to you tomorrow.

I don't what's triggering it, he's done it over lots of other things in the past

Our lives are just a mess aren't they