Edited 17/02/2021
6 month wait??
childminding
August 14, 2009 07:41
me and my dh have decided we want to adopt. To cut a long story short, We have a naturally conceived bd aged 6 years (after 2 years of trying). exactly a year ago i had an ectopic which resulted in a tube being removed. Since then we have had numerous fertility tests. After our last consultant appointment we decided no more tests as they are becoming too invasive and emotional. Adoption had always been an option for us as we had been ttc for 3 years before the ectopic. Our LA has told us that we need to wait a minimum of 6 months after making our decision to apply to adopt. I was wondering if anyone else found this to be the case. We just desperately want to start the process now we have decided to adopt. Sorry for rambling on and being a bit random.
turtle
August 14, 2009 08:52
I think this is standard. Use this period to do as much research as you can. There are some great books out there that will give you a better insight into adoption.I know six months feels like a long time but it really isn't. You will find there is alot of waiting throughout the process.Most of all if this is what you want to do don't give up.Love Turtlexx
Edited 17/02/2021
Midge
August 14, 2009 08:57
Yes, its a normal request, and a very sensible one really.You can't just switch from TTC for several years and decide one day to switch off that route to the just as demanding, but different adoption route without needing some time to just step back and take stock for a while. Its a bit like being on the re-bound - its not a good place mantally to be making profound decisions.The agency probably want you to tune out of all the new baby/child thing for a while and get used to the fact that the new baby you'd hoped for is not now going to happen. To just be a family of three for a while and come back next spring having had a break from one treadmill before getting on the adoption one.Good luck,Midge
Edited 17/02/2021
milliemac
August 14, 2009 10:21
HiOur LA turned us down because we had a birth child and we went to a VA who asked us to wait a few months. So glad we did - we actually waited a year (longer than they suggested) and we definitely needed this time. I had lots of ups and downs during the year while I struggled to cope with the fact that I wouldn't be able to have another child naturally. Should I have gone straight into the adoption process, I don't think I would have coped.The three of us went on the holiday of a lifetime during that year, my relationship with my other half appeared again (it had just become a dismal routine of trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant and being sick and then miscarrying, for years).It turned out to be the best thing we could have done. Believe me, your 6 months will pass really quickly - make the most of them!Our first enquiry with our agency was January 07, we started the process in March 08, approved in January 09 and just about to meet our little boy - hope he will be placed by the end of the month. And the time has absolutely sped by!Good luck with it all and enjoy your 6 months!xx
Edited 17/02/2021
tiglet
August 30, 2009 16:57
We had over 10 years of fertility treatment including 7 IVF cycles.You need a minimum of 6 months before you even consider adoption.In fact you really just need to enjoy your lives for 6-12 months without thinking of kids however difficult it may be.I can assure you being desperate is not the way to begin the adoption process.It is a long gruelling,emotional path and you need time for yourselves beforehand.Good LuckTiglet
Edited 17/02/2021
Archived
This topic is archived. New posts are not allowed.
