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HiI am single mum to Simba age 9. There have been a few similar posts recently which maybe why you havent had much of a response yet, try looking on the prospective single adopters board for themOne thing to bear in mind is that Social Workers are a 'curious' lot - thats their job. I am assuming that when you say you are a student this means that you are quite young 20ish? They may well question why you are so adament that you will stay single when you so young. I'm not making any judgement but they may be concerned about that. You will need a strong, reasoned argument behind you. It is tough going it alone, finances are always a worry, you might have to be prepared to wait a while until you are in financially stable enough position to go forward.I am 48, the end of my mortgage paying year are just about in sight and consequently my mortgage is comparatively low, and it does make a huge difference

I appreciate where you are coming from as I will also need to return to full.time work eventually. However I totally agree with Serrakunda in that any social worker will expect you to prove that you are completely financially stable and able to support a child long term.It is also worth noting that some adopters end up not being able to return to work at all, or not for several years, due to their child's needs. If you are going to work, you will also need to.prove you have a totally robust support network as you will need people to help with childcare.Good start that you are planning ahead :-)

Thanks to both of you, its good to have honest opinions. Im actually a mature student in my late 20s so would be ready to adopt. I understand that the childs needs must come first but surely they cant expect you too stay off work as a single parent because how would you survive?

J83,You have to be prepared to stay off work until your child can cope with you "abandoning" them to go back! Remember most of these kids have serious attachment issues so it's not at all guaranteed they will cope! You will need to show you can maintain your household on your adoption pay / tax credits etc. Obviously if you are a renter you are at an advantage as you'd get housing benefit when your income drops whilst you're not working.In my personal situation, I was able to work whilst my son was younger, but the transition to secondary and increased demands on him have made working now impossible.e they hit 12).(There's no childcare onc You need to be flexible. Just demonstrate you're aware of what you may have to deal with and have a plan for each scenario.Phoebe x

Thanks very much Phoebe, can I ask how long the process was for you and how old was your son when you adopted him please?

My son was 3 when I adopted him.The process was very quick for me - I was matched during approval. The week after approval I saw the file on Tuesday, met the children on Thursday, brought them home the following Tuesday.Obviously knowing what I do now, I'd never rush anyone through at that pace. I believe the introductions are much more careful these days.Phoebe x

I adopted DS when he was 4, so about 10 months before he started school. I took 7 months off work (6 months adoption leave, plus a chunk of accrued annual leave - all I could afford) and do not feel I could have done it in less time, we needed that intensive bonding time.I thought I would go back full time but, when it came to it, I didn't see how he would manage with only seeing me for an hour at the beginning and end of the day. Initially, I went back 4 days a week and that worked well for me, but we still had 4 very long days. Childcare also cost a fortune, and dropping a day means dropping a fifth of your salary and that is a lot of money. this year I have done it differently - I work 5 short days (the same no of hours), so my childcare costs have gone down and I get to pick DS up from school 4 days a week and do fun stuff like swimming midweek. The downside is that I don't have any non-work, non-child time and I really miss that! Getting a bit better though, as DS has started doing playdates at his friends' houses, and I get the odd couple of hours to myself!Find out how much childcare costs in your area (if you don't have family to do it), and go to the directgov website to find out what benefits you may be entitled to (things like working tax credits are means tested - I used to get them, then the threshold was reduced and I don't qualify any more - it was a blow but I now use childcare vouchers and that helps). Some adopted children qualify for an adoption allowance but DS was pretty straightforward so he didn't.Good luck!

Thanks very much to both of you, its very helpful. I cant wait to get started but feel it going to be an emotional road ahead!

I'm still not back at full time work after 4 1/2 years. And looking at even shorter hours in sept when eldest moves to secondary as I don't think it's going to be straightforward!And don't underestimate the time for you - non-child non-work time (as bovary says) is so crucial. And my 2 still don't have any friends so no play dates for us!Good luck (for info: it took me 6 months to be approved and 2 yrs to be matched)Chooky

Thanks Chooky. Wow thats a long time! Surely you received benefits in that time as a single adopter?

going back a little, as an adopter you are expected to be finacially responsible for your child as you would a birth child. Being an adopter in itself doesnt entitle you to benefits.Most single adopters probably do work, but its very hard working full time and meet the needs of our children. You also have to balance the cost of working full time and the amount of childcare you have to pay for You may be entitled to tax credits, but that depends on your income, not being an adopter per se. You will probably get child benefit - about £80 a month for one child. Some children do come with an adoption allowance, but that is because they have a level of difficulty which means you cant work full time. I am very lucky, I receive a very generous adoption allowance but its not enough to support us without working, some children may also be in receipt of DLA. But getting the potential for receiving these benefits shouldnt influence the type of child you look for.I returned to work half time in April, I am going to up it a little to 22 hours in the next month or so, but I can't see myself doing much more and staying sane. To be honest I can't see myself working full time again for a very long time, if ever. have a look at the threads started by Clairy recently - these issues are very well covered in there.On the issue of your age, most SWs will still feel late 20s is still quite young to be so clear that you will stay single and that birth children are not a possibilty. I was 43 when I was assessed, I still had to justify why I hadnt thought about having birth children via donor, IVF etc etc

I'm a single adopter, I work a 27hr week, I still miss the drop in salary. I don't receive any additional benefits, we are above the thresholds, but I certainly wouldn't class myself as being very comfortable. When I was on adoption leave I received a fostering allowance I believe they called it, its standard for the placing LA. That did help me to live on adoption leave salary, which was a pittance. I would suggest that all potential single adopters prepare themselves for a drop in salary, some single adopters work full time, but an awful lot don't. My son has separation issues, he quite simply wouldn't manage after school care every day during term time and child care during school holidays. I had anticipated increasing my hours at some point, however I'm not sure when that would ever occur. DS is delightful, but too much for my family to look after whilst I work. My income is significantly less and outgoings have increased due to paying child care fees. The child benefit cash pays for swim lessons and a sports club.If you do a search of the boards and the net you will find links to websites that help you work out what your income would be if you did receive benefits.

Thanks guys, its good to know your situations and hats off to you! I suppose it would be like any single parent, money is a big issue. I couldn't afford not to work and would want to work but hopefully not full time. I didnt realise they grill you about why you dont want IVF! Thats a bit much! Guess Iv got alot to learn!

well they just want to be sure that you have come to terms with not having a birth child and the younger you are the more likely they are to question itThese days these are lots of ways for people to have children, you dont need to have a partner. To be perfectly honest my road through adoption was so difficult I think it would have been easier to find a 'donor' certainly it would have been quicker.You have to be prepared that SWs are going to trawl through your life and will want to discuss very personal things.

As Serrakunda says - no benefits just for being an adopter; but I do get child benefit and working tax credits, and the kids both get DLA so that ups the tax credits too.I do contract work, so it gives me the flexibility to chose contracts that allow me to work part time (and also to panic when there are no contracts: no contract = no pay!).Will pm you ref IVF/being single.Chooky