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Hi J.B - yes she is very tuned in! the good news is she hates lelli kelli shoes as there are no brown girls in the ad You have hit on the crux of the issue - she knows it's not reflective of any reality she has come across in her life, school, local neighbourhood, family, some travel... but the contrast with the media is all the stronger for her given her world is SO brown.I should add that as I am white i have no experience of at what age black kids are prepared by parents to deal with racism/eurocentric culture etc... DH tells me his family gave him no guidance he can remember despite living in a hazardous neighbourhood in terms of racist attacks. Mmmm i seem to have widened the brief now!

I think my ds was about seven when we spoke more seriously about racism and its roots and we talked about martin luther king and I talked about what happened in America. I told him certain things were not acceptable and he was to tell me if anyone said anything as I would deal with it. We spoke about dealing with it calmly and it was the other person's problem not his etc.I also got the dvd Roots and we watched it together when he was about 9. It shocked him, made him angry, but helped him to see the world as it is (sad as that may be). Also it helped him to see why the n word was such a bad word. It is difficult to start - especially when you want to build up self esteem.But I had given him daily little boosts about the lovely colour of his skin for example when we saw anything about people sunbathing, I would mention they wanted to be the same colour as him, that kind of thing, so he has turned out to be very proud of his colour. He often jokes to me when I say he can't do something - "is it cos I is black"He is insistent his future wife will be black as he doesn't want to lose the blackness in his family. He calls himself black (even though he is brown) and the fact is society will see him as black no matter how light brown he actually is.He never did the counting thing. I think the only thing that frustrated him was that he couldn't get a straight fringe like all his school mates. even my hair straightener wouldn't have helped. However, he's had some great hairstyles with plaits etc over the years and he had to grow a great fro to get them which he was super proud of.

HiThere are programs where BME are in the majority, like The Cosby Show & Desmond's, but they are not really aimed at children as young as Rosie. I try to show ds good role models of BME people, like Obama, as we are all white & most of our neighbourhood is white, but we do have some BME friends, as does he. I don't think there is a 'good age' to introduce racism, but if she's asking about it, it is probably time to talk about it. I think ds was about 6/7 when he started to notice racist comments in the street.If you want to find positive books/magazines then some libraries have lists of them, & even if your local one doesn't you could contact one say in a London Borough.Rosie could also do her survey on various sports where rowing would come off badly, but various athletic sports would be well represented.all the bestl

hiya all mine have been over five when they noticed racism existed.we are a mixed race family with me the white one lol.hubby mixed and 6 kids all shades of brown as they say.although my two teenage sons discribe themselfs as black british.me i always find the truth is the best although tapered to meet the childs ages.perhaps you could explain the truth simply .by saying that at the point in time there was not as many black/brown people in the uk or america.and some (you must stress some)white people did not think they could act/sing/dance.then go on to explain how wrong and ignorant they were.so they were not in a lot of films.and to be honest a lot of us mixed race familys i know find disney racist.even the princess and the frog she dident get to stay a princess.could you perhaps do a project together about famous black people in history rosa parks maybe.(she is a great one for girls)did the school not do black history week.xx

Thank you lovelies. So the consensus is to go with the flow and reveal the true nature of the world. I think you are right and I did need your reassurance that it wouldn't be too soon.. but its so sad as her immediate world is so utopian!We are pretty hot on positive images and have a great book collection (by the way I can recommend Dave and the Tooth Fairy from Tamarind books (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dave-Tooth-Fairy-Verna-Wilkins/dp/1870516133). We've touched on mixed race history too via Obama's inauguration when the kids had TV tea and sweeties on condition they watch carefully - had to explain why I was blubbing and thought it timely to mention that when Obama was born in some places mixed marriages would not have been allowed and now he was president.I'm going to have to butch up if we're ever going to watch roots together though.Rosie's school seems to use black history month as a cultural event rather than for historical purposes - a bit of a cop out. Funny isn't it that the stuff you thought would be easy to talk about isn't? And the stuff that should be tough is a breeze...Rose x

My favourite question is When do people think the first Black people came to Britain?Some guess various decades in 20th century, with 1950's being the most popular, some guess Victorian or even Tudor times.But I believe there was a 'legion' or whatever they call themselves of Roman Soldiers from Africa who were around at the time of Hadrian's wall, so Black people in Britain go back a lot further than many people realize, though I'm not aware that any settled here at that time.l

I remember watching Roots as a child and it transformed my view of the world.I will never forget it and it was amazing to watch it again so many years later.Still incredibly heartbreaking, moving and emotional stuff. DS was insistent he stayed up to watch Nick Griffin on Questiontime and asked lots of questions which also helped him to get a view on society. I think you do have to start being truthful so they can cope if/when something comes their way. I've been at pains to stress it is dealt with calmly and to be the better person and see it as the other person's ignorance and stupidity as it would be too easy to become angry and aggressive. I've been thinking of taking him to an anti-BNP rally in the run up to the election. Hmmm? Not sure about what messages he would receive there though. Black history month website had lots of downloads that were useful. Not looked at it recently. Might be some age appropriate stuff on there.

my lovely sister in law finds it difficult as she feels that sometimes her white heritage is negated by promoting her black heritage and is a great advocate for promoting both sides, her comment to this was promote both your daughters sides as she may feel that white is bad and black/brown is good, she also noted that Princess Fiona didn't stay a Princess either. Just a thought, I find her such a positive role model for my dsAngelsmumx

Oh what a dozy mare I am!I am a massive fan of Andrea Levy and was delighted when Small Island was aired a couple of months back. Why didn't I make the link?Rosie had a High School Musical stay up tonight and as the DVD went off BBC Four announced Small Island was being rerun.Perfect way in to the whole debate so we watched the first 20 mins and said we'd record the rest for her. Wise little soul said she thought she'd wait til she was a bit older if there was any sexy kissing so I should fast forward those bits!A bit gentler than roots and UK context so I am pleased.Worth a watch if you didnt see first time round, but the book is even better.Rose x

dont forget the Princess and the Frog - Princess Tianna is black and from New Orleans