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Interested first time adopter - A few questions to get me started 😊

Butterflies21 August 19, 2021 17:06

Hi all. Wondered if you might be able to help with a few questions. Some may seem a bit strange but in terms of lateral thinking and assimilation its all helpful in the process.

1. If adopting in the UK and wish to move to another country, is this possible, and if so is there an obligatory period of time where we must remain in the UK after adoption is complete i.e. when the child is home with us. I ask in the context of a non-national with absolute full rights or as a UK citizen who wishes to move abroad.

2. If ones employment is short regular contract based, or locum work (because money is normally much better and more flexible) would this be looked at unfavourably in an application? Im guessing it would be unfavourable, but the irony is that the chosen employment offers more flexibility to spend time with a child along with better financial rewards.

3. Has anyone been in a long term relationship (live together) where only one person wants to adopt and the other party does not, but is happy to be fully assessed (completely aware off how intrusive and complex the process is) and support holistically and financially, but does not want to make it a legal thing? Has anyone applied in similar circumstances i.e. single adopter in a long term co-habiting relationship? If not, better to go it alone, live alone and take your chances?

4. From research it looks to me that realistically the process could take at least two years if lucky - would that be a fair assessment? I understand it can take longer obviously depending on whether one applies through council or VA. It seems to me this six month thing the agencies talk about does not exist.

Thanks all for your help with this. 🙂

Serrakunda27 August 19, 2021 18:34

Hi

1 - Once you have your adoption order its up to you what you do. However you should bear in mind that children who are adopted usually have some level of additional needs and can be very complex and challenging. Moving from their home country may be very difficult for them, particularly if the culture is very different and they have to learn a new language. Some children also have contact with siblings which is very important to them. You would also need to consider what the post adoption support services are like.

2- You need to demonstatre that you can support a child financially and take up to a year adoption leave.

3- no you can’t adopt as a single person who is co- habiting. You aren’t single if you are co-habiting or for that matter in a long term, committed relationship but don’t cohabit. What does support holistically mean if they don’t want it to be a ‘legal thing’. The whole point of adopton is that the child is legally and permanently part of the new family.

What does your partner envisage the relationship will be, parent or not? You can’t do adoption unless you are fully committed, and that means legally. Sounds to me like they want to leave the door open for a quick exit if it gets too hard.

I’m not sure what you mean by live alone and take your chances.

4 - the time it takes is nothing to do with it being an agency or LA. You can be delayed by very many things, some of which will be about you as an adopter, not about who is assessing you. The six months is a guideline. Finding a child is a complicated business, the narrower your criteria, the longer you are likely to wait. If, for example you are looking for a two year old girl with blond hair and blue eyes, you are likely to wait longer than someone who says I’m looking for a child 2 and above.

Butterflies21 August 19, 2021 22:00

Hi Serrakunda27. Thank you for your thoughts on this.

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