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Sleep disturbance qualification on offer here.

Politics (the art of not answering the original question and shifting the blame)Shape shifting and disguisesRewriting the English dictionaryInventing.

Animal 'care' Combustible materialsPyrotechnics

News journalism tabloid sensationalismPolitics with Boxing and secondary in expletives

Motivational writing and Speaking - Level 1Modules include:How to upset nearest and dearest using social media.Use of the written word to express emotions using expletives, describing self harming and violent tendencies to self and others.Motivational writing and speaking - DiplomaModules include:Stating case to criminal justice system employeesUse of persuasive text when incarcerated to enable release of emotions and creating a best seller to finance future life style.

Creating imaginary friend, level one.Creating additional imaginary friend, level 2Creating an imaginary friend, for your non imaginary friend, and getting non imaginary friends imaginary friend to play with your imaginary friend(s). Level 3Level 4 anticipated to be available soon, I imagine.

Living in the last chance saloon - HNDHow to make the wrong friends and be influenced by them - BTech Level 4How to make a living out of lying - Motivational one-day seminar

Catering and food tastingMagician training (modular examination) - how to make anything disappear and strictly adhere to code by never revealing methods

PHD in Ice Age Forensic Science Level OneRADA graduate

GNVQ in disinformationBTec in Sleep Deprivation (imposed)AS Level in Nicotine StudiesHND in self-destructionPhD in Adult Manipulation (with a family excusion cause)

She achieved Masters in the following:DrinkingSmokingDrug dealingPorn starRecruiting others to be fellow porn starsbeing vileabuseaggressionhow to get kicked out of school and 3 collegeHow to kick the s*** out of educational Baby dummy when it criesHow NOT to clean your lovely flatHow not to be able to manage on Job Seekers allowanceetcetcAll qualificatons obtained in 3 years!!Janie2 x

Don't you wish we had a like button.

First class honours in 'being a drama queen'

Spying and/or clairvoyance- advanced level. Able to demonstrate awareness of which teachers are leaving, who is going away for a holiday, any surprises planned within the family etc etc long before the 'official' announcement.

certificate courses in: creative smearingtorture by non stop nonsense chatterarts and crafts with bodily fluids

Extracting resources from the NHS.Food recycling - picking up chewing gum from the floor and eating it.Decibel testing or how loud can I scream.Memory recall or how many police officers can I b on first name terms with.

Burglary ARobbery ACriminal Damage AWeed Connaiseur A* Ability to put fear of G into family A***Trauma of sibling ADegree in how to get caught red handed when associates always manage to get away. BA level 2:1Degree in how to mess up his life: BA 1st. Degree in ability, despite previous qualifications, to keep the love of his family, and to still make them laugh and for them to love him with all their hearts PHD !!

A level in bullsh**.BSc in control techniquesPhd in psychopathy

High(est)Regional Diploma in Hypochondria, with added research on unecessary invasive intervention methods and high costing in-patient proceedures.foundation course in Munchausen by Proxya first from the 'university of life' in numerous subjects, but most notibly..1)live by the pint of larger, die by the pint of larger, (dissertaion on 'how to handle what people say to you when you drink during pregnancy' )2)how to build up your babies immunity through filth (masters currently being studied for)3)the history of the art of lying and subterfuge (honours in this)currently applying for a bursary to extend the extensive RADA training previously attained so can reach even greater heights of fame, fortune and becoming a legend a her own lifetime....The conservatoire of Drama is considering her application...couple of mid level 'how to' college courses inhow to start a college course,get lots of fun equipment bought you, then decide 'its not your thing'many times over,how to meet men and instantly make them the love of your life -on the internet,how to treat good, honest,loving people (aka fools) with the contempt they deserve.how to pull the wool over peoples eye's with panache and flair...(level 2* in follow up course, AND get away with it time and time again)household management techniques using take away and home delivery technologyam sure there was also a business school diploma in 'stealing, then selling other peoples belongings'..but it was so long ago..I forget