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BBC News transracial adoption

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galapagos March 9, 2012 07:53
Interesting news story about loving parents being more important than race and that therefore changes will enable ''white'' people to adopt ''black''''brown'' or dual heritage children. I wonder if theyhave asked children in care what they think?
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galapagos March 9, 2012 08:02
In my opinion transracial adoption can highlight difference but this is not necessarily a bad thing, as loving parents are essential to help recovery from trauma. And moreover, I think society has changed since the 1970's and hopefully there is more acceptance of difference. However, I am mindful that a child may be exposed to more bullying at school because of the perceived difference. Being of different skin colour from adopted parents must surely deny a child the opportunity of keeping adoption private and therefore expose the child to attack as some children are cruel. What do Children in care think about the 'absurd barriers to adoption' ( bbc presenter quote)The change in governemnt approach feels a bit experimental, almost as if the government are testing whether it is better/worse leaving a child in care or enabling them to be adopted by parents of a different race. It seems as if it is financially driven, getting the children adopted will cut costs.... if they really cared about adopted children they would put more money into post adoption support.
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Pear Tree March 9, 2012 08:11
I do understand that there are lots of mixed heritage children available to adoptButI've known a number of mixed heritage adopted adults who struggle to fit within black society when they present as black but are culturally whiteWith kids with identity issues anyway in their teens this will need careful handling I'd think?There's a lot more awareness of racial issues I think and promoting of culture but with the lack of support in adoption generally it would worry me that in a few years time a crash of adoptions falling apart is on the horizon
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Ayodele05 March 9, 2012 08:18
Pear Tree, quite!At the end of the day, in this society, it doesn't matter how light mixed heritage children are, they are perceived as black.As I've just mentioned in my thread about it, the fact there aren't enough black/Asian adopters goes to show the system to be a failure. They have let down the children by not working to recruit, nurture and encourage these families....I am fuming......
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Ayodele05 March 9, 2012 08:20
I loved how the chinless wonder didn't actually answer the questions directed at him...
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galapagos March 9, 2012 09:11
we challenged the perception that my dh was black as his mother is white and father is black. He perceived himself as Brown. He has grown up in the uk and buys food at the supermarket like me. The expectation that he eats african/carribean food all the time had to be challenged. But what he has is an innate understanding of cultural history and he has first hand experience of racism. Experience that could help him to nurture a fragile little one.I wonder whether the government are going to follow the little ones who are adopted as a result of these changes? Will there be more disruptions. Or will society be more accepting? My concern is for adoptive parents who are already blamed for the challenging behaviour of their los. will an inability to deal with race be another method of attack used by those who know nothing about the trauma of adoption?gx
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Serrakunda March 9, 2012 15:12
as a white person shortly to bring home a dual heritage child of White British/African heritage, I do sort of resent the idea that just beacuse I am white I dont understand what its like to experience prejudice/racism, have no idea of cultural history and wont be able to promote my new son's cultural heritage.I was in a mixed relationship for a long time when it wasnt as common as it is now. The names I was called by both black and white people are not printable in a public forum, as a couple we experienced far more aggravation from his family and virtually none from mine. At the end of the day I do reflect Simba's racial heritage because his birth mum in white. If his birth family had been 'normal' but say divorced with dad not being around much, would we have suggested that his mother could not look after him properly just because she is white whilst he presents as black? I don't think so. At my local school where I have volunteered for seveal years, there are children with so many racial/ethnic backgrounds the kids really dont give two hoots, kids generally don't, its what is learnt from parents that causes problems. When I go to the local park with my friends (white) kids there are always loads of kids there with white mums/black dads and vice versa. We will not stand out as different because of our visual appearance. having said that, I wouldnt advocate that BME children be placed with white families without very careful consideration. Im our case Simba identifies with a white mummy, if birth mum had been black I agree that would be different. I also probably wouldnt have wanted to consider children of Caribbean or Asian background because I know virtually nothing of those cultures. What I do know about, from a number of differenct perspectives and personal experience is African cultures.So, is Simba better off with someone who reflects the ethnicity of his own birth mother, has an understanding of racial issues, living in a multiculural city, with multicultural schools etc - or should he stay with his white foster family who have no particular interest or knowledge of African cultures, in a predominantly white small town with no real access to anything that does reflect his African heritageI agree that more should be done to recruit BME adopters but until that happens should the kids in the system now just be left there to continue to be disadvantaged or with VERY careful matching should they be given the opportunity to have a proper family, just like the white kids
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galapagos March 9, 2012 16:27
Transracial adoption is contentious. And only the child will be in a position to say whether it works or not in a given situation. Matching establishes the best fit but the familial and community environment will determine if that Mach becomes a good adoption that enables the child to flourish.
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galapagos March 9, 2012 16:29
Good luck serrakunda
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kangas March 9, 2012 17:01
I think what is changing is the realisation that race is only one of the parameters and that a not-exact match in race does not automatically have to mean that the child and adopters cannot be a match, or similarly, that a perfect match with respect to racial background does not mean that child and adopters are right for each other.In our case everybody realised that race was perhaps a smaller factor than the other issues involved - keeping two half siblings together (different fathers, one white Scottish, one oriental), keeping them in familiar surroundings (ie a very white Scottish town, rather than moving to a more diverse region), finding adopters willing to take on two older children, able to deal with their background and able to take on the medical issues. They made the pragmatic choice to place them with a (white) family with more links to other cultures and races than a lot of other couples.
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kangas March 9, 2012 17:02
Ps that doesn't mean that AD's racial background is not an issue - it is difficult for her to look different than us, but it is only one of a list of things. There are no perfect solutions.
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jmk March 9, 2012 17:33
We all agree that in the ideal world mixed or black children should be placed with parents of a similar colour and culture, but condeming a child to a life in care is also not acceptable. Society has moved on quite a lot compared to the 60/70's when white couples adopted black children. There are far more mixed children these days from mixed relationships as society is far more integrated than the old days. Some of these mixed children might have curly blond hair very pale complexsions and even blue eyes. These children are often overlooked by black/mixed copules as looking "too white". We don't live in an "ideal world" so why shouldn't suitable educated white couples who have been approved, have attended extra courses in a childs culture/racism/hair & skin care etc etc and who live in an ethnically diverse area, be allowed to adopt these children.I would however be against any white couples who live in a predominently white area and who intend sending their child to a predominently white school, as I think it is essential for these children to see and integrate with a variety of different cultures, otherwise they may grow up to be coconuts - (black on the outside, white on the inside).It's about education and being racially and culturally aware and if a white couple are prepared to put the work in and can prove that they have done a lot of preparation then they should definately be considered.
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Hilly7 March 9, 2012 17:41
I am really sorry if this is going to annoy people but I can read "We all agree that in the ideal world mixed or black children should be placed with parents of a similar colour and culture, but condeming a child to a life in care is also not acceptable". without commenting.I know many children growing up in my Local Authority who nobody wanted to adopt. They were on the National Adoption Register and nobody was prepared to take them on. Many are in very stable long term foster placements and are thriving. Adopters do not like being blamed for causing the difficulties that their children have. Foster carers do not like being blamed for causing those problems either. None of these children that I know are "condemned in a life in care".Hilly
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jmk March 9, 2012 17:55
Hilly I wasn't having a go at FC's at all. I know there are 100's of fantastic ones out there. What I meant was that if SW are obsessed with finding the "perfect match"(colourwise) than many kids will remain in care until they are considered too old to adopt and will miss out on having a forever family. No matter how good the FC is, it is never the same as having your own family forever. Sorry if you misunderstood my post.
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galapagos March 9, 2012 19:05
I dolike the idea thatfoster carers can be approved to adopt simultaneously. This would speed the process and perhaps limit the changes that Los experience
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selg March 10, 2012 22:58
I worry that white adopters will only want to to adopt BME children because it's more likely they'll be younger. I can remember our prep course some people being quite jealous of the fact as BME adopters we could be approved for a much younger child. White adopters of BME children do have to be aware of the extra issues their children may have because of this. But that doesn't mean I don't think it shouldn't happen, I have two friends who were adopted and are not the same ethnicity as their parents and they have no 'hang ups' about it.About the age thing, our LO have just turned 1 when he came home but the friends we made on the course brought their LO home a month before us and he was 17 months and they are white, so it's not always the case.
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Serrakunda March 11, 2012 02:56
I'm not sure that many white families do set out to intentionally adopt trans racially, I know some do but I certainly didnt. I looked seriously at about 5 children, all white apart from Simba. For me his ethnicity wasn't central to my decision - what was important was could I meet the range of his needs, including ethnicity. Panel, including the three black members appear to think so.Simba was featured in publications for 5 months witout a single enquiry from black or white families. I assume that even black families dont make their decisions based soley on skin colour, otherwise he might have generated more interest, being a 7 year old boy seems to have been much more of a problem.The bullying issue may be a bit of a red herring. I was bullied at school and at work. Im my exprience bullies are cowards who pick on those they perceive to be weaker than themselves. Those who are bullied dont fight back because of lack of confidence, self esteem etc. These are big issues for our children and we have to support then to have the confidence to deal with it - not easy I know. But the point is that there are a myriad of reasons why children get picked on, in my case I was overweight, wore glassses and my mum was the dinnerlady. Two of those three still apply but what has changed is my ability to deal with it.I dont get bullied any more. We have to give our children the tools to deal with it.Nor do I think that the vast majority of children have the sophistication to enter a debate on any level about barriers to adoption, absurd or otherise. I suspect if asked most of them would say I just want a mummy/daddy, to stop moving between placements and can I have a dog/cat/pizza every day or whatever.What I do find astonishing is that I have been offered no additional training or support to deal with this aspect of our impending adoption. My SW did direct me to a course which I am attending but which I have to pay for myself, two days before intros start
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galapagos March 11, 2012 17:23
maybe now is an opportune time for a longitudinal study into transracial adoption... this will produce the required evidence of the efficacy of current policies and support....
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Pear Tree March 11, 2012 17:56
PAC offer some excellent race/ culture and adoption courses
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jmk March 13, 2012 13:29
Interesting point Garden about people considering mixed/asian children because they might get them younger. Recent discussions on the BME thread suggest otherwise as there have been a lot of asian or mixed asian white couples wanting to adopt who are being turned down for asian/mixed children because BM is muslim and wants her child brought up in the muslim faith. If mixed/asian couples are struggling to get these children, white singlies/couples haven't got a chance at all unless the child has major problems. It's not always about colour, sometimes religion can hold adoptions back because BM's wishes hold more power than the need to place a child with broadly similar parents. Mad, but sadly true.
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