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Do the children have a relationship? If yes, is there a bond. If no, don’t assume there will be one Is this child older or younger than yours? Previous experiences pre foster care and during foster care? How traumatised? On going contact with birth family Genetic issues, eg one child with adhd, asf, fasd etc is tough. Two with the same issues even harder Do you want another child? How will new child fit into your family Does this child want to be adopted (if old enough to say) or would s/he like to stay with fcs. Is permanency right option Can this child live in a forever adoptive family ... it’s isn’t the right option for all children Sibling rivalry? Jealousy on both sides. Will the child get more support in foster care? I don’t mean support from you but sometimes a child is too complex to live in an adoptive family. Sometimes there’s more support in fc - sometimes I said before anyone shouts at me! Why is it not straightforward? More complexities ?

A lot depends on the child's age and what contact/ memories of the birth parents remain with the child. Also an older child will have their view taken into account on where they want to live. Has any of this been discussed with fcs because if they are willing to promote adoption then they can help the child to transfer emotionally as well as physically? Would your adopted child be compromised if it goes ahead because they may have contact with birth family members and details may leak?. Have the siblings got an existing bond and can you rule out trauma bonding? It is a major decision but it could all work out. Even if the foster care placement is long term, it does not necessarily mean that the child will remain till 18 in the same placement. What does the child's social worker think .... would your application be supported? Best of luck whatever happens. Johanna

pos: Longterm outcomes for children who have been adopted are much better than for children who remain in care this child would gain a forever family and a completely different level of safety, support and love the children would know someone from their birth family really well (doesn't necessarily mean they would get on, though in our case they do), so they might feel not so uprooted if this child wants to be adopted, s/he might feel wanted and chosen neg: it will make your family life more complicated and difficult, just by the mere fact that there are more relationships going on (you to the child, the child to you, the child to your existing child and back, etc,) plus existing relationships will change, never mind trauma and anything else that goes on it sounds a bit, as if this child is older than your existing one. if this is the case, this might introduce your child to things they would otherwise come into contact with much later http://www.bengrey.plus.com/Documents/LTfosteringvsadoption.pdf

Tbh I think sws will know what the general pros and cons are of foster care versus adoption. Imo the big question here is: what is the official plan for this child? If it is for her to remain with the fc then this is what will happen. You will have a fight on your hands to overturn the plan and I have no idea how you do this, but the sws you are seeing soon are unlikely to be the decision makers- it will have been agreed at a panel. The issue I guess is more about around this particular child and what is best for her. A lot depends on age and how well settled she is with the fc. Moving to you would possibly mean lots of losses for the child and there comes a point where social services will prefer to leave things as they are rather than risk upsetting her stability ( and that of your current child). How old is the child you are considering? My girls have 2 older half sisters who were deemed too old to be adopted as they were well established at school, wanted to keep a connection with their birth mother etc. They went into long term fc and did extremely well. One is now a nurse. She considers the fc to be her mum. The fc took her on loads of holidays and she stayed with her post 18. One big benefit of being in ltfc was that both girls were able to buy council flats at vastly reduced prices.

You want reasons why they should be left in fc ? Or is that a typing error ?? What is their plan ? Do they have a placement order ? If not then they are not even legally able to be adopted. Have soc Ser approached you to consider adoption? Without knowing any of that it is difficult to advise but just to say that children in long term foster care do have a permanent home and family . It is not some sub standard option . I am an adoptor and foster carer and have a long term foster child who has been with me his whole life ( 11 plus years and counting ). He is as much a family member as our birth and adopted kids so just be careful not to get the sw back up by implying foster care is something to be saved from.

Thank you so very much for your comments and concerns there are some really really valid points to consider - the sibling is younger than our adopted child and the plan is long term foster care for sibling but we want to give our home and life to sibling too Our adopted child and other siblings have full contact but not with this one !!!!! Contact goes really well with siblings. We are also going through foster carer approval and I think you all do such a brilliant job and we have had two wonderful foster carers for our adopted children (one an older now adult) And I am not saying adoption is better than fostering at all. I just want to be able to bring all the siblings together - we did suggest starting small and having contact with this sibling see how it goes from there that maybe a suggestion they put forward in 2 weeks. See what happens. Xxxx

When we adopted our eldest , we and he wanted his next down age brother as well. His birth family had moved around and the boy was in foster care in a different local authority, who had decided that the long term plan for him was foster care. Not sure if that was due to his having a stronger link with birth mum or a diffent age policy for adoption than the LA my son was with. Anyway, we were told categorically that it had already been decided that the plan for sibling was long term foster care and that wasn't going to change. I think it was viewed a bit like adoption is, in that the children have waited long enough , they are now entitled to a bit of certainty on their future. Would the decision have been different if they had known we would come forward, I don't know. If the child is very young then maybe they would be willing to at least consider it. To be honest I am rather surprised if he is young , that long term foster care has been chosen, it tends to be older children because of the assumed link to birth mum. My sons brother was a schoolchild and no doubt knew what he wanted. He may have been unwilling to be adopted , certainly at 18 he went back to live with birth mum, while my son is adamant birth mum is not his mum, I am, so maybe the different decision was for the best reasons, or maybe not - their present attitudes may be due to the way their childhood panned out. Hope it becomes clear what way to go Best Wishes Pingu