Edited 17/02/2021
Didn't think we knew what they meant!!!!
reallove2014
October 7, 2015 12:35
When they said look after yourselves all the way through!!! Let me explain further .......... My wife and I have been together 5 1/2 years, no problems at all with our relationship - a very open and honest one whatever we were feeling / thinking we let the other in etc. We got married last November and had an amazing day, the day after the magic continued with an amazing surprise by my wife, we then travelled and stayed in one hotel the next day another hotel and then the following day on honeymoon for 10 amazing nights together. Upon our return it was Christmas then we started the process. No real long time away from work for just us apart from the odd weekend here and there and now we have got to the point of being approved but our relationship is suffering :'( we have realised the reasoning for this - no break and no time for just us for any length of time, so please people take some time for yourselves - and not just a few days TRY and get a week away together just to RE connect with each other without discussing the process. We have come to a decision to not be as proactive as we are being until we've had our holiday in Feb next year. If the social workers want us to take their children they will wait for us - if no us no home secure enough for the kids. At the end of the day my wife is extremely important to me. If it wasn't for her this wouldn't be happening and yes we do want to be parents but want to be parents together. A few months RE connecting and a break away from this not discussing in detail will do us the world of good and make us RE connect Please be mindful of one another - know of another couple who feel the same who are at the same point as us so not just us!!! We will be solid once again and more in tune when the little ones arrive
Donatella
October 7, 2015 12:40
Unlikely anyway to be much family finding between now and Christmas anyway. Yes, the process is stressful and you need to take time to be a couple - do it now, because it'll be extremely difficult once you have your family. The whole dynamic changes. I'd be very wary though of how / if you present this to SS. They might not see it in the same way you're seeing it. They may see it as you and your wife having marital difficulties and ask to to take time to resolve them before moving forward. Just a thought.
Edited 17/02/2021
reallove2014
October 7, 2015 12:46
Hi Donatella Our SW didn't want us to cancel our holiday saying she thinks well need the break. Were just not going to be as proactive and take a back seat and let our VA do the searching for us - we've been on Adoption link, made tracks to securing places ourselves on profiling days etc so instead of us doing this were just going to let the VA do it for us!!! May be a bit of a shock to them bit we both have full time jobs as well as undertaking voluntary roles which were required for us to do for the process so the only thing that's going to change is the fact were not calling / texting / emailing on a daily basis!!!! We're gonna take a back seat and see what happens - let's see how good it is!!!! Thanks
Edited 17/02/2021
Bonesy5
November 7, 2015 16:34
Think that is good advice. We are coming to the end of stage one but took a week out for us just to keep grounded and de stress for a while. We have a few things outside of the process to juggle as well as the "hoops" - voluntary work, full time jobs etc so have made a pledge to find our time throughout oir time in the process. Congratulations on being approved x
Edited 17/02/2021
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