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I would think it would be very difficult for them to refuse him a place unless they have their own legally approved admission rules. Looked after and previously looked after children are given highest priority in school allocations and so unless there is an entire class of children who are looked after or have an EHCP which specifies that they attend that particular school, his place should be guaranteed. In terms of delayed entry, go to your local authority website and search for the information. Some schools can make that decision themselves, other schools have no say and it is determined by the local authority, usually you have to make a formal application. You could also start him at school, they’ll realize it’s a mistake and then gladly accept a delayed start! You may be pleasantly surprised and find that in the time between now and September, he settles very quickly and is actually ready for reception. I should also discuss it with your and his social worker.

Ive spoken to the city council Education department and they pretty much said the same that theres not much they can really do, just to inform them once his plaement is confirmed on April 16th.

Like i said, the biggest reason is because of his delayed areas but also because we just want to do things slowly. Our lad has been through so much in his short life inlcuding our 14 week 'transition' as theyve called it and we just want to enjoy our time with him before he goes to school. May come across a bit selfish but i personally dont see a 3 month delay as an issue long term.

Why im nervous is because i dont want it to come across that we are 'fighting the system' because thats all we have done for he last 2 1/2 years to get our boy and im too exhausted for that again.

As the legal starting age is the term after he’s 5 that would be the summer term as the date is taken from 1st Jan which given you a bit more time too. I think it’s a lovely idea as you’ve missed all his toddler years when parents do lots of interesting things with their children - drop ins and different groups as well as just taking things in a relaxed way. After all he’s probably a toddler developmentally. Some areas have so many different things for toddlers so it might be work looking into what yours has (as well as the more obvious things) - another things people sometimes do is work out a part-time solution with the school which gives you all a break / some time apart and him a taster of school - as well as school getting an idea of his needs before he’s full time. It may be that he’s keen to go depending on his experience before he comes / came to you. Some children are and it’s a security for them. It’s good to keep a fairly open mind at this stage and have as many options available as you can but I wouldn’t worry about losing the school place. Also you don’t need to fight with them just present your case in a diplomatic and child centred way. Anything you do with him as his parents will benefit his learning long term too as well as his emotional development, attachment and sense of security. Enjoy this time - it only comes once

Just to add to Safia's post - if the school does fight you on this then perhaps it is not the right school for you. You will need a school that is happy and willing to be flexible and understanding not just in relation to his start date but throughout his time there. So don't be frightened - use their response as an indication of what they are likely to be like in the years to come and then use the time he is at home with you to look for a different, more understanding school if need be.

Also don't forget the national trust membership!!!

best wishesxx

Many Thanks for your replies. Im sure we will be fine.

When we went to the open evening the headteacher was incredible. Was really sympathetic and reassured that they have access to anything our boy would need. Im sure they will be fine with a January start. Like i said, just gives him 9 months to settle into him with us, get a routine and get him in nursery say a couple of mornings until January to help get him to where he needs to be. Plus means we can take him for a little 4-5 night holiday just the 3 of us.

Like i said, its probabaly more of me being paranoid about 'fighting the system' as thats all we have done for the last 2 1/2 years. I do totally agree when people talk about post adoption depression. I keep saying to my husband that its something i may have to get help with. Plus we have had to move home for this adoption... its been alot of life changes at once

Hi Newdads,

I think everyone has given some great insight and responses to your post. It may also be worth purchasing the Trauma and Attachment Aware Classroom book by Rebecca Brookes to give to the school (I know I will when I start talking to schools next year for my little one!) As for post adoption depression - it is real and it is good to get help for. Please do give our Helpline team a call and they will be able to point you in the right direction for support on this. 0300 666 0006 opening times can be found here: https://www.adoptionuk.org/helpline

There's also a few good books about Post adoption depression out there or this video on YouTube https://youtu.be/deopisdQJTc

Best wishes to you an your new family,

Charlotte