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When we took my elder daughter for art therapy, it didn't seem to make a jot of difference to all the behaviours I had wanted to be fixed. The therapist was annoyed with me - she was concentrating on 'integrating' the various part of my daughter. So first thing I would say is that therapy is not necessarily about fixing the things you don't like. You might find that the therapy has other benefits, more to your daughter's mental health for example, than to you. But equally, it might not be the right sort of therapy. I don't have any experience of DDP myself. But there are lots of types of therapy. My younger daughter and I had a very rocky relationship and it improved no end after a bout of theraplay. But she was still very controlling and tantrummy. She improved loads again after some filial therapy. But then we discovered she was on the autistic spectrum. I have to just live with a lot of her behaviours and not get annoyed by them. She is quite happy when in control and I have had to learn to live with it. So I found counselling for me very helpful to tease out why I needed to be in control so much. I did 'love bombing' by Oliver James over a weekend with her and I was amazed to see how much I expected to be making all the calls (where to go for lunch, for example, why?). I think it's more than just our children - it's us too and where we could make small changes and give up on our own need for control. But anyway, there are plenty of different types of therapy. Hope someone else with knowledge of DDP comes along.

Hiya. We're waiting to here back about funding for DDP therapy using the ASF. We tried theraplay at home and with a therapist at CAHMS. My son didn't react well to either so the psychologist thinks that DDP is the way forward for us. So I'm following this with interest.

we have just started DDP with ASF funding (you get ASF funding by applying through your local PAS). I can't comment much, as our daughter hasn't actually joined the process yet - we are still having our parent consultations. However, we are finding these really helpful, and I am feeling hopeful that this is going to help us all make positive changes. We have funding for a year of therapy, so it's by no means a 'quick fix'. My daughter had a whole year of talky therapy including lots of theraplay activities and it didn't help at all. She was only willing to present a particular version of herself to the therapist, and wasn't prepared to go deeper. Hopefully, because we are also in the room with DDP, and being trained / treated as 'co-therapists', we will make more progress together.

I'm not an expert in either but have experienced both. Both have an aim to support the child in developing relationships with primary carer / parent. However, my experience is that DDP is more in depth. You need a therapy that does take the child back to early years to address the trauma and use the current loving relationships to fill in / repair areas that are previously damaged. We have seen major breakthrough with our ds but it took 18 months of DDP before we started to see change. So you have to be prepared for this and willing to stick with it. You also need a DDP practitioner who you feel able to trust. Please feel free to pm me any questions. X

Thank you for your replies. This is more to support AD rather than fixing things as it were. She really struggles with separation which I know is to do with attachment and her need to control is beginning to have a negative impact on her playing with other children. I know these things can't be fixed but if these behaviours could be lessened then I think she would become less distressed and frustrated. Shame features heavily, she really does not believe she is a good person when she is told off or gets something wrong she feels very bad about herself which leads on to aggression. It's difficult to watch and be part of, she's only six so if there is anything that will improve how she feels about herself I'd like to give it a try.

Sounds like my son. Lots of shame And aggression. He struggles with school, anxiety and separation and needs to control everybody and everything. He will constantly tell me he is bad and it breaks my heart...