…a posting that’s been a long time in the making but I wanted to acknowledge that ‘not everything’ is attachment related. I’m 13+ years in with my elder daughter, now 14, and we’ve had input of variable calibre over the years; think drama therapy/music therapy/colouring book therapy - I made the last one up but, honestly, nothing would surprise me.
So, it only flipping turns out when a properly accredited and qualified psychotherapist with more than two decades’ of professional experience had a session with my daughter that she judged her to have ADHD and ASC with a PDA profile. A speedy referral in to a diagnosing professional and, sure enough, an ADHD diagnosis; we’re waiting for a private slot with the local autism expert as I don’t fancy two+ years on the CAMHS waiting list. I could shed multiple tears for the time that’s been wasted with ASF-funded art/drama/music therapists, many of whom only have a one-year diploma in their chosen subject. What a waste of time and public money. Am I the only adopter here to think that the ASF is just a massive exercise in ticking boxes and throwing silly amounts of public money at ‘therapists’ who simply do not have a clue what they are doing?
In short, Donatella, you were so right; not everything is about ‘attachment’. Sometimes there are genuine medical reasons why our kids behave like they do. I’ve looked up the heritability factors for ADHD and Autism and they are astonishingly high; THIS is why our children’s birth parents self-medicated with drugs and alcohol and lived lives of extreme chaos.
Honestly, my biggest piece of advice to any struggling adopter being offered support by their regional agency through the ASF is to check out the professional qualifications of their offered therapist; a one-year diploma in psychodrama simply won’t cut it. You need a properly qualified psychotherapist and don’t be fobbed off by the ‘corporate’ company with whom your regional agency has a preferred agency relationship. You will be offered an ever-decreasing range of utterly cr*p ‘therapists’, the majority of whom have studied less than you’ve been waiting to be approved as adopters. YOU will become the experts on YOUR children.
(Climbs down off soapbox and hides below parapet).