Edited 17/02/2021
Help! Is my 15 year old behaving normally?
pepipootles
November 23, 2018 12:46
My adopted son is 15 and supportive and understanding older brother, but is becoming more secretive in his teens. He has a Facebook account and thinks he has âfoundâ his birth mother. We also suspect that he might be drinking and smoking at the weekends when he sees his friends. Is secretive behaviour happening because he is a ânormal teenagerâ or because he is processing his adoption and becoming more curious? any help would be appreciated!
pingu123
November 23, 2018 13:01
Both probably ! It's just that non adoptives know their roots. A friend of mine was saying the other night that adoptive kids have the usual teens issues but with bells on !! It's good that he isnt doing the hunt for my roots stuff without telling you. I would ask him how he feels about that and be supportive about his natural curiosity, for starters.
Edited 17/02/2021
pepipootles
November 23, 2018 13:01
also - does anyone know what type of help is available?
Edited 17/02/2021
silver birch
November 24, 2018 00:03
My AD found a birth relative on Facebook when she was 14 but I don't think she had made contact. I contacted post adoption support ( ring your local authority) who spoke to my daughter and decided the best course of action was to give her the option to write letters to this relative though the letter box system. They discouraged her from trying to make contact through Facebook. My daughter has been exchanging letters for 2 years now and has far as I am aware has not made any attempt at direct contact. Something else to consider is my AS who will soon be 15 has been rather secretive for about a month. Found out why last week- he has a girlfriend.
Edited 17/02/2021
Donatella
November 24, 2018 09:08
Hi. If Iâve read your other post correctly you also have a birth son and a younger adopted daughter and are having issues with your middle soon too? Ime 15 it a difficult age - gcse year so lots of academic pressures on top of all the stuff thatâs currently going in at home. Not sure how long your daughter has been with you but I would guess that the arrival of another adopted child in the household may be throwing up some identity issues for him. Has he had / would he consider some therapeutic lifestory work? Smoking and drinking - I guess it is fairly normal for teens. None of mine smoke - and only my 17 year has an occasional drink. Heâs not really into smoking, drinking or drugs. And of course maybe heâs feeling a bit pushed out? Two under 6 can be hard work and 15 year olds are starting to learn to become more independent but in reality still have an awful lot of growing up to do and still need to know their parents are there to fall back on. Whether they want to admit it or not!
Edited 17/02/2021
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