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Introduction
merlin123
July 20, 2013 23:35
Hi allI embarking on the process to become an adoptive parent and have a lot of questions but will try and restrict this to a few important ones.First, I assume from some of the screen names that a lot of single adopters are female. I may be wrong of course. But I wondered if there were any single male adopters on here I could learn from?My situation is good for adoption I think. I have a largish house, garden, live right next to a large park and easy access to woods, fields and lots of open space, good local schools, I am reasonably self sufficient financially and am able to take the time I need off if I get matched as well as being able to work flexible part time but still have a decent income. All practical stuff I can tick off. Personally I am a very patient sort and have had about 3 years with a partner and her daughter living here.Finally I realise adoption is not necessarily a smooth road. I am however sure about my commitment and ability to cope with whatever this throws my way.Question is what are the chances of a single man being successfully matched? Thanks
minnie7
July 21, 2013 10:31
Hi, I am aware of a single man who has recently been linked with under 4 year old boy. Hopefully, more people - including some single men - will be able to say more.Best wishes,Minnie x
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bovary
July 21, 2013 17:50
Hi Rob,I know demographically there are more single female adopters than males, but there are some. If you do a search on the single prospective adopters board, you'll find a few threads about this. Pedro is one who adopted fairly recently and who posts a bit (but not for a while, hope all OK Pedro??)You sound in a good position practically to adopt, all the things you mentioned are important to have thought through.Re having a partner with a child living with you, they will of course want to know how recent this was, and whether you have worked through all of this. They tend to take a dim view of singlies becoming couples halfway through the process - either you are single or you are not. This is not to say that they expect you never to meet anyone, just that you are committing to putting a child first, and having significant others coming in and out of your life just isn't what these kids need when they are so vulnerable. Just needs some thinking through about how you present this. Good luck!
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Serrakunda
July 21, 2013 20:42
helloI'm single mum to Simba, boy aged 9. There are a few single male adopted around, they dont post often, hope its because us girls arent too fierceIts critical for everyone but the best advice I can give you at this stage is make sure you get the right agency. I started out with my local LA, it didnt occur to me to shop around. Didnt know I could to be honest. I never really got on with my SW, it became increasingly clear to me that she had an issue with single adopters. After a lot of grief and stress I left and found myself a great VA with a single mum for an SW -sorted ! Children are out there looking for all sorts of families, Simba's SWs were looking specifially for a single female adopter for him for a number of reasons. You have thought about a lot of the practical stuff but you might want to start thinking about your support network and particulalry female role models for your child.Good luck
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Alaska099
July 26, 2013 06:37
Have PMd you
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