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That’s not how it works as once you’re approved they consider you with others interested in a particular child and look at which family provides what that child most needs - which is the best match. I was roughly the same age as you and we had two older birth children - though are a mixed ethnicity couple so could take children in a hard to place group. If you are older - as long as your health is good - there are other things that you can provide - greater stability perhaps or financial security and greater life experience and maturity. Look at the positives you have to offer. We were told by one LA that they didn’t take anyone over 35 - so we looked elsewhere. They vary a lot and can be flexible where they need families. We went with a VA which I think are generally more flexible anyway

Safia - that's really helpful advice thank you so much! Really happy to hear that.

I was 44 when I started the process as a single working person. I was matched very quickly and my age was never really mentioned. As Safia says, it's about meeting a child's needs.

I was 42 when we had our first - baby - placed with us and 47 when we had our 3rd. She was a bit of a surprise as we’d not planned on 3. All of mine were under 12 months old so I was very fortunate to do the whole baby thing.

I will say that it took a long time for our first and second match - 15 months and 20 months - and my age did appear to be a bit of an issue second time around. However our daughter, who arrived 20 months after our second son, and who’s our eldest’s sibling, didn’t cause any issues with my age. They chose us.

I understand the desire to do the baby thing - that’s what I wanted too - but, as I’m sure you’ll know, that isn’t a guarantee of fewer difficulties. My three are all teens now - one neurotypical in his second year in uni, one ASD/adhd who’s just starting back in mainstream after 10 years in special Ed and doing his A levels, and one ASD who’s not likely to get many - if any - GCSEs but who has other abilities.

There was lots I didn’t know when my babies arrived - there’s much more info out there now - so go into it with eyes wide open and as lots of questions. Dig deep and deeper than just birth parents. Often lots of genetic stuff in the mix and fasd is common.

Other than that, good luck. I consider myself to be very fortunate to have had the privilege to have parented mine from a young age, as tricky as it has been!

Thank you so much Calypso and Donatella, this is really helpful, much appreciated.

There is no age limit. We were approved this year and are midway between you and your partners ages. We were dual approved for foster to adopt (F2A) and adoption. The only F2A discussed with us during matching was aged around 1, so it’s not always babies, and not that common, but you will need to be guided by your agency about how many children they place in this way as it may depend on your local area, There are positives but also a lot of uncertainty so it’s not for everyone and your agency will give you specialist training to understand the issues and make a decision. We have not had any issues raised about our age but some profiles of children did have a guideline of under 45 yo which may have been with your agency! We’ve gone for adoption for our match.

Good luck with your journey.

Hi Hopecove. I am an approved single adopter aged 48 now. I started out on this journey at 46 but had to begin by selling my house to move to a bigger home. I was approved in the summer and am awaiting a match 4-7 years old. My age has never been an issue really more what I can offer a child. Good luck x

Have you come across "Foster to Adopt" and "Early Permanence"? These schemes are sometimes attractive to prospective adopters who have a particularly strong desire to have their child placed as a young baby. They might not be for you - there are some quite off-putting risks and conditions. But it is worth looking at all alternatives, before you settle on an agency. You could also find out the age distribution of children placed by your LA recently, or ask them about the ages of children coming into their care. There is often a high number of available adopters interested in younger babies, so you can help your chances of being chosen as parents by being more open on other characteristics (such as ethnicity, background, disabilities, contact arrangements) or by having relevant experience or particular expertise either yourselves or within your network.

Ines and NDA, thank you so much! It's great to hear of your positive experiences. Lettice, yes this is what we're looking into at the moment, as you say there is a lot to consider and I think we will look at a couple of agencies initially, even though we do like the one we have been in touch with so far.

I really appreciate hearing all your points of view.

I was 39 and my husband 49 when our 2 little ones were placed aged 11 months and 2 1/2 years. Our ages didn't appear to be a barrier at all x

Hello

I can understand your dilemma as I was in a similar situation. But we went ahead despite our ages. I was 49 when our 9month old boy arrived and my husband was 47 years. Almost unheard of. Many commented on it. I used to cry thinking I was going to be more like a granny when he was a teenager. But....it's been fine. We've adjusted, kept fit and enjoyed the journey of being older parents. In the end it doesn't matter how old you are - you're providing a warm, loving home for a child. That's the important thing. We've done all the things I've dreamt of - canoeing, bonfire cooking, biking trips and body boarding which he's embraced big time. And more ahead.....And you can always cat nap when they're at school (especially during covid as working at home!).

Hi River - thank you so much this is such a beautiful story! Yes, I think it's time for me to focus on all the things we CAN do which we couldn't when we were younger (afford it, for a start!).

I have friends who have adopted this year both late 50's. As someone said above as long as you have your health it shouldn't be a problem. Good luck x

My husband and I were 48 and 49 when we started our journey. We weren't looking for a baby and were eventually approved for 0-6 yrs old. Our ages have never really been an issue, possibly because we are quite young at heart and have kept fit and healthy. We're certainly in a good place financially, which also helps and we've been together 25 years. We have matching panel next week for a 6 yr old boy and the whole process has taken us 14 months.

Thanks Squirrel and GK - that's so good to hear. Happy new year and best of luck Squirrel with the matching panel - how exciting! x