Edited 17/02/2021
My dad is adopted - help with talking about it
Dorset Gal
November 6, 2011 09:14
Hi All,I have found that I am quite emotional about my dad's adoption. I think I didn't even known until we started this process that I had any feelings on this at all. So far I have spoken to After Adoption and they seem to understand where I am coming from.My dad's adoption story is quite old fashioned as he was not told he was adopted til he was 21. We grew up thinking his aprents were unknown and then just before my gran died she told him a little bit about his parents - who they were, where they were from.We haven't really talked about this part. Any advice for taling about this.Thanks
suze
November 6, 2011 11:21
hi does your dad want to talk about it or is it your feelings that you need to sort out?not the same but my dad had a very difficult childhood similar to my ds's and my lovely dad has really struggled in lots of different ways with this.don't know where you're up to but this will come up in homestudy and sw may ask your dad about ithugs to you all - it's had a huge impact on our family suze x
Edited 17/02/2021
tiglet
April 16, 2012 19:20
My Dad was adopted.He is 68 now so like your story my Dad had an old fashioned adoption even more so as he was never told.He was brought up by his adoptive Dad as his adoptive mother went off with someone else and went on to have a birth son.He rarely so his adoptive mother after she left.My father found out at his parents divorce proceedings when he was in his twenties when the judge said "the adoptive son"during the proceedings.He did find out who is birth mother was but did not want to take it any further.He did not have a good relationship with his adoptive father and my mum hated him for reasons I wont go into.So sadly not a good adoption story but my Dad was all for adoption and was totally behind us when we adopted.I talked about it at home study but my sw saw no need to have to talk to my father about it.Its never really bothered me as I always had my maternal grandparents who I was very close to and who my Dad was as well.He called them Mam and Dad.Tiglet
Edited 17/02/2021
jmk
April 16, 2012 20:02
Hi Dorset Gal,I'm not quite sure what you're asking. Has your Dad talked to you about you wanting to adopt? Is he interested? If he is then surely it would be natural to ask him qutions about his own adoption. If he isn't open to discussion than this may cause problems for you when going through approval. Also adoption today is SO different from his day. I am adopted and I thought my Mum would be my number one supporter, but it hasn't turned out like that at all. She is supportive and loves my DD's very much, but I cannot talk to her about any of my daughters issues as she refuses to believe any of them are due to her being adopted.Feel free to pm me if you have any questions and I'll help if I can.
Edited 17/02/2021
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