I was speaking to my sister in law, I let my children pick themselves from the menu when we go to restaurants etc. But my sister in law chooses for her children even when she knows it's something they don't like and insists that they eat it all.
We would recommend something to them and they usually liked it. We did not let them eat the rubbish food on kids' menus, but they would share an adults' dish. However, they have always been very adventurous eaters (think snails). They are older now and choose adults' dishes for themselves.
I am completely different I am afraid. For me eating out with the children needs to be relaxing and stress free and so I would, and do, let them eat whatever they wanted including the rubbish on the kids menu. After all it is meant to be a treat for them as well. As long as they ate properly at home I really wouldn't care. My AD has lots of special needs and I have had to let a lot of the things I dreamt that I would do/be like with my children - go out of the window. eg having dinner around the table - my AD cannot manage this and so she eats her dinner watching the TV - not ideal but as long as she eats again I no longer care. You have to find what works for you and your family and not feel pressured by what anyone else does. Trying to force feed broccoli down an unwilling child's throat in a restaurant is not my idea of fun!! xx
I have to admit that it totally baffles me when adults try to insist on certain foods for their kids! I mean, they wouldn’t do it to a fellow grown up so why is it okay to do it to a child? I’ve had a similar ‘discussion’ with my sil!
You can offer choices, give suggestions but ultimately you can’t force feed a child. Eating out is supposed to be a pleasurable experience. It teaches children about more than just the food they put on their plate. It’s something we’ve always just about managed with our kids, even when they were little. So what if they insist on chicken nuggets and chips every time. Does it really matter? Should I tell my husband that I’m not going to allow him to choose his favourite steak and insist that he has a veggie meal? No of course not and provided my kids don’t choose the most expensive item on the menu then absolutely I allow them to eat what they choose!
I find it really helpful to think about their whole menu across a week when I start stressing about what my children are eating. Yes, maybe on Sunday they had chicken nuggets and chips at the restaurant, but on Monday they had a punnet of grapes and on Tuesday they had 5 different veggies with their dinner. We don't eat out at a restaurant often (especially not during Covid times!) so when we do I want it to be enjoyable and relaxing for me as well as them! Most restaurants seem to serve some token vegetable alongside the chips and to be fair, my two are pretty good at eating that most of the time.
I think the comparison between how someone treats their children and other adults does not work. I don't tell my husband when to go to bed, but I do tell my kids. I see it as part of my job to encourage my children to try different foods and to eat reasonably healthily. That does not mean that they never get crisps, fries or other rubbish food.
To me going to a restaurant is about trying something new, something I would not have at home and I have encouraged the same in my children. However, food has never been an issue for us. My children would happily try something that their siblings just declared as totally disgusting. So going to a restaurant has never been stressful, even if they did not get fish fingers. They knew they could get fish fingers at home.
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