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Meant to say I found it helpful in recognzing a feeling I had is in fact grief.

Yes it’s a good article - it makes you realise how much grief there is in the world and that it needs to be acknowledged. It reminded me of something my Mum told me the other day - that after my father died my aunt told her that children didn’t feel things (grief) the way they (the adults) did - she may have been trying to make things easier for my Mum but certainly not for the children! I’m glad things have changed!

Did you lose your father very young safia? I don't have any experience of that but I do remember when my grandparents died we weren't told at first. My Mum pretended they were still in hospital. I must have realised something was up because I went to read my sister's diary (she was/is 6 years older than me) and my Granny's funeral was mentioned. We'd been farmed out to an aunt on my father's side (which was unusual) so that was obviously so they could go the funeral. Yes, more enlightened times now, thank goodness.

Yes I was 14 and my brothers younger - when my granny died my Mum had been up there as she was ill - she had died and they’d had the funeral and she was back home and no-one thought to tell us - it’s only because I asked if she was eating ok that I was told - I felt so stupid! I was at my fathers funeral but my brothers weren’t - which I think is wrong - they had to go to school!

That's so sad. So many things were different then (I am assuming we are a similar 'vintage'!) and not in a good way usually,

No they didn’t used to tell kids anything - my mother found out her older brothers were half brothers (their Mum had died when they were small) because of a list of ages her cousin had written on a wall! If you think of it keeping a secret like that means there are so many other things you have to keep quite about. My Mum also once said she thought sexual assault of the Rolf Harris type (touching young girls) was just normal behaviour which was quite worrying! Yes a lot of things different now thank goodness

Never saw this Safia. Sorry. Yes secrets and lies were common I think :-( Just wanted to bump this up for someone